Archive for November 26th, 2006

Mad Broadband [Part 2]

November 26th, 2006

Well, it has been a busy Saturday and a lot has been happening.

My two friends Ron and Dick have more or less moved in to help me. Herself is making the cheese on toast to keep us fed.

Ron and Dick did some forum posting about my plight and there has been a very kind response. I didn’t know so many people cared and I am touched and flattered. Thank you all.

Ron’s good friend Michele sent us some figures that proved that I have not been lying all along. Apparently Michele has been keeping records of how fast I connect to the Internet. Why she should do this just for me, I don’t know. Ron will explain no doubt. Thank you Michele anyway. You sound like a nice girl.

So we wrote a rather gruff letter to the company and enclosed the figures. We explained that they couldn’t possibly be telling the truth and that they should get things fixed straight away. Or else…….

We didn’t get a reply.

Dick apparently knows of another case like mine. They complained of a bad connection and our foreign friend came out to them and apparently they [our foreign friends] used exactly the same technique as they tried on me. The gentleman who lived there was at work at the time, and his wife believed them. She told them to take the equipment away, if it was no good. I believe he wasn’t too happy when he came home that evening and found he had no broadband.

Now, this morning an interesting thing happened.

Ron and Dick are still here. We made a night of it. Herself is getting a bit cheesed off with the cheese on toast making, and is begining to complain about all the empty beer cans.

Anyway, Ron and Dick were running some tests.

They ran one at around half eleven. There were sharp intakes of breath.

Dick told me I was getting 1meg down but nothing at all up. I was tempted to say that I am used to getting nothing up, but we’ll keep the talk technical here. Anyway, he said this was very bad. He said it looked like it was all over.

But then he ran another test and nearly passed out.

We revived him, and he told us that the signal was excellent. Well, not perfect but more than adeqate. He said it was 1.5 meg down and 1.2 meg up whatever that means.

So Ron and Dick are jumping for joy. I said it mightn’t last. They said it didn’t matter, because it proved that I could get a decent signal even after all the messing around that the company did, and that all their excuses had fallen flat.

So maybe they have fixed the fault at last?

Or maybe they undid whatever it was they did in the first place?

Or maybe they are beaming a special signal just to me?

Or maybe the CIA intevened because they didn’t want to lose track of me?

Or maybe they did read yesterdays mail?

We’ll have to wait ’till tomorrow when I can phone the company and find out what is going on……

Footnote to the above:

I have just received an invoice for next month’s service. Oh! Sweet irony!!