Head Rambles

Grandad November 28th, 2006

I like playing around with the system. By the system, I mean life in general or more specifically, those parts of life where we are expected to conform.

You know the kind of thing - you are asked on a form if you are Male or Female so you answer Yes. Or you get one of those voice recognition telephone systems and you start using profanities to see how good the programmers are. Or you ask for a return ticket, and they ask “where to” and you answer “here, of course”.

I thought I would like to have a little game with Google.

Now I know a lot of people are finding my humble little blog by way of Google. But some of them are probably not finding quite what they expected. I’m sure the people who did a search for “what is good about spiders been around the house” might have been a little surprised to find the ramblings of an old git. But not as surprised as the people looking for “trinny & susannah big knickers”.

I had one visitor who actually searched for “www”. I’d say they got a few results! A bit like sticking your head out the window and seeing if you can find any air out there.

I have had some interesting searches. A few taken at random are “sandy balls”, “bertie to be grandad”, “pregnant boobs” [I wonder if the last two were connected in some way?], “my head is all over the place” and one that probably found exactly what they were looking for - “senior citizen psychological problems”.

Now suppose I start writing about nothing at all, and just throw in a few teaser words for Google?

Suppose I start using words like teenage and sex and nude and photos? Am I going to get a lot of very disappointed visitors? I have already used words like “big boobs” and “small boobs” [perfectly innocently of course]. Words like sexy and naughty should be good too. I could use quite a few rude expressions but I don’t want to offend my readers. But naked and bare should be good. I had a couple looking for “voyeur”. Dirty gits. Or I could write about the great tits and the blue tits who are currently taking peanuts from my bird feeder. Not to mention the cock that crows every morning. The list is endless and interesting.

But the person looking for “four elderly women with hairy armpits naked in bed with a gorilla” is going to have to be disappointed.

I don’t mention that kind of thing here.

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Grandad November 28th, 2006

I have a couple of problems. You know that by now. But my psychiatrist is helping me with most of them.

There is one problem though that you, dear reader, might be able to help me with.

I am new to all this blogging business. It’s been seven weeks since I started [God! It seems like seven years!] and I still have a lot to learn. I am doing most of it by trial and error. Mostly error. The trial bit comes up in January, in the Four Courts. But that’s another story.

I found a site called Kick.ie. I understood that I can post a posting on that site, to let people vote for it. I have been doing that for a while and everyone is kicking me. That sounds sore, but after thirty five years of marriage, I’m used to it.

Now, I received a mail from someone who complained that I was posting every blog I wrote on Kick and that a) that was unfair and b) that I was hogging the Kick site. In fact, I don’t. Just most of ‘em. But that’s beside the point.

Actually, what he/she said was “Seriously dude, must you submit EVERY post you make to kick.ie? take it easy!”.

I will overlook the “dude” bit. If you knew me, so would you.

I checked the Kick site and there is no area that tells me the rules. It seems to be a sort of “come in and help yourself” type of policy.

In fact there is one blogger who seems to post all his writings/blogs, and then post some of his old ones again, just for good measure [good idea, that - I must try it].

I know that etiquette is very important on the Internet. This is strange because there is no such thing as etiquette in the Real World any more. Try opening a door for a feminist [or for anyone, for that matter] and you’ll see what I mean. Maybe all the etiquette has been sucked into the Internet?

So help me please… Am I overusing Kick? Am I abusing Kick? Should I be Kicked off or Kicked up?

I’ll add this post to Kick and see who complains.

You’ll see the “Kick” button below

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