Are people trying to tell me something?
Grandad March 25th, 2007
I wrote a long time ago about how there was always a little pile of poo outside my gate.
A theory was put forward that it was the postman, as postmen have to go somewhere.
So I asked him.
He said no, it wasn’t him. He said he always kept his poo for a neighbour who was always getting heavy parcels delivered, and they were never in.
So that remains a mystery.
Offspring and I did a bit of gardening yesterday. We had to cut back a hedge because it was blocking the view. Actually, it wasn’t so much a hedge as a mass of brambles, and I don’t have much skin left on my hands as a result.
One thing we found was a massive hoard of empty beer cans and beer bottles. One corner of the woodland, nearest the road is full of ‘em. They were all different brands, and would have made an interesting collection, only the cans were rusting and the labels were coming off the bottles.
Where did they come from?
I could understand it if there were a pub nearby, but the nearest pub is well over a mile away. I could understand it if it were the only dumping spot around, but there are loads of hedges they could lob their junk over, and ditches they could fill. So why mine?
So does someone have a grudge? Is Róisín Ingle coming all the way out here to deposit her empties and empty her deposit? Is it the American Ambassador perhaps? Or George W himself? I know it’s not Bertie, because the beer is the wrong brand.
Are they trying to tell me I’m a little shit and an alcoholic?
Or maybe it’s a token of affection? Could Twenty Major be camping outside the home of his idol and leaving little presents for me?
Twenty dropping a poo in my woods
In the meantime, it is a bit annoying, as I have to collect all these thing and dump them over a neighbour’s wall.
- Around the garden
- Comments(12)
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Do you think they are trying to build Grandad’s Folly?
No. I’m doing that over the neighbour’s wall.
Might be a dirty protest by the Council?!
I just connected all the dots on my hand left by thorny brambles and formed a picture of Elvis. Wierd.
Now that you mention it, the back of my hand has the constellation of Orion and all the stars down to magnitude 12 in perfect position. Could this be a sign of the Apocalypse?
You sound like you were eating the fruits of the brambles!
I think if you leave some beer for the poo fairy’s,they will leave you alone, and visit your neighbor’s.
I’ be more inclined to throw poo at the beer fairies. That would have the same effect.
Wrong time of year, Grannymar. Unfortunately. We could have had a feast.
This is scandalous. I wouldn’t leave poo outside your gate.
If I was going to travel that far outside the city I’d be smearing it on your walls.
There is no need to be embarrassed, Twenty. I understand your hero worship. Call in next time and you can use my jax.
I wouldn’t get paranoid about it, we’ve got a pile of poo on our drive too, and it didn’t come over the wall. We think Bono did it (I’ve seen him doing it).
The beer cans are your own special problem.
Oh Bloody Hell!! Don’t tell me U2 are at it again??
BTW, Hiya Neighbour. I didn’t dump the beer bottles and cans into your garden. It wasn’t me. Honest. I promise. Really. It was someone else.
We don’t have any beer bottles and cans in our garden. The previous owner used to dump them all in somebody’s hedge, but now the green bin gets collected fortnightly, so it’s not a problem for us.
Actually, somebody thoughtfully leaves their green bin out on the lane, so even if ours gets full, we can lob stuff into it.