Head Rambles

Grandad April 12th, 2007

Last February, I wrote about a little known company called Cully & Sully.

Cully & Sully produce prepared meals.

Now this isn’t your ordinary stuff that you get stacked on the supermarket shelves that contain more MSG than BSE. This is your home cooked variety, with no additives or preservatives. And it is lovely. And their reputation is spreading as it deserves to.

Herself and myself have become somewhat addicted to these and they are part of our regular order. But there is a problem.

Their Fish Pie, which is our favourite, comes in a nice little ceramic bowl. None of your plastic or foil rubbish. When we ordered our first ones, we thought this was great - free bowls to make a little set. So we built a little set of spare bowls in case we needed spare soup dishes or something. And then we built a little set to put flower pots in.

But then it began to get ridiculous. Now the dog drinks out of them. We have filled a few with coloured pebbles and use them as door stops. We use them as candle holders. And still the damn pile keeps growing. We have run out of storage spage completely.

In fact I am now having to extend the house to cope with all these bowls. Fortunately it isn’t costing much, as I’m using the bowls as bricks. We are nearly up to roof level at this stage.

I wrote to Cully [or Sully?] and complained. I demanded that the least they could do was to supply us with free Fish Pies for life, in compensation. But then it occurred to me - a lifetimes supply of bowls???

Cully has just replied to the last post I did. He’s a little late but business is good, so he is very busy. I’m glad about that, and I’ll forgive his tardiness.

He says [and I quote]

It’s me, am I to late?

Will I be forgiven if I get some free pies to Grandad?

I am in a quandary. What am I to do? I’m on a pension, so a free pie or two would be nice, but it would mean more bowls!

There again, when the extension is finished, I could always build a four bedroom detached house for Sandy?

• Around the house , Cully & Sully
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Grandad April 12th, 2007

I have heard in the past about ‘hostile takeovers’ and often wondered about them.

I had pictures in my mind of boardrooms and people shouting at each other and solicitors sending nasty letters to each other.

The reality is far worse.

Last night, I was sitting minding my own business [that is a pun-to-be as you will see], when there was a knock on the door.

“Are you the owner of Silver Hair Internet Technology?” asks a bloke with a hat and dark glasses [even though it was night-time].

“I am” says I, thinking this might be a secret approach for a massive contract from an international organisation.

“We are taking it over.” I couldn’t say whether or not he batted an eyelid because of the dark glasses.

“F*ck off” says I in my politest tone.

He pulled a gun on me.

I was a little surprised as people in the countryside are usually quite friendly. People have take pot shots at me in the past but not at my front door.

Herself was inside doing her knitting, but when she realised what was going on she let Tiddles loose.

There was mayhem. Tiddles found one of them [there were quite a few of them apparently] and started playing with him. Bullets started ricocheting off the walls. The dog took cover as she hates loud noises and Herself started firing off the sawn-off. She nearly hit me a couple of times, but that was accidental. I think.

Then they started on the heavy stuff. When a mortar round blew the neighbour’s house to bits, I tought it was time to call a halt.

“What exactly do you want?” says I when the dust had settled a bit and Tiddles was back in the garage.

“We want Silver Hair Internet Technologies. We are prepared to pay a good price”

“Why didn’t you say so?” says I. I had grown bored of the web design business anyway and would be glad to be shot of it.

It transpired that he represented a company called “Hosting Online Technology” and they wanted to merge the two. So he gave me a very reasonable cheque [considering I had done little or no work] and I signed the papers, and gave them all a cup of tea.

In retrospect, I realised that I had been the victim of a hostile takeover, but I didn’t mind. They could have handled it better, and I’m a bit annoyed at having to apologise to the neighbour’s relatives.

So if you see a web design company called ’shithot.ie’ don’t go to them. Ron’s company is much better anyway.

But God help us if Ryanair launch a proper hostile takeover of Aer Lingus.

Stealth bombers over Dublin?

• Web design
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