Holidays

Grandad May 14th, 2007

What is it about Irish holiday cottage rentals?

Why do they always seem to assume that there are eight of me?

I have been idly trawling the Interweb looking for a place to rent for a week or so in West Cork. We might go. There again we might not. But there is no harm in looking.

The point is that there are two of us. Just Herself and myself. But can I find a small place? Can I hell!!

Every place I find proudly boasts “sleeps six” or “sleeps eight”. How often do you get eight people going on holiday together? I suppose there are families with six children, but not that many these days. Or are we supposed to drug our friends and bring them too and force them to pay their share? Because these places seem to charge by the bed.

Last year we stayed in France in a gite that had four beds. Ideal. We used the upstairs room as a store room and slept in the main bedroom. The upstairs room was so small that you had to be a contortionist to get into it anyway. The two previous years we went Up North and stayed in a cottage that could [at a pinch] sleep four. Ideal.

But here, they seem intent on giving us top end luxury we don’t want. Why on earth should we want jacuzzis and en-suites when we don’t have them at home? Why do we have to have DVD players in every room? We’re on holiday, for God’s sake!

holiday_home.jpg
Small cottage to let

All we want is a small, comfortable basic house. Preferably with a roof. [We once booked a place that was advertised in the paper and it turned out to be a shed with no roof! Luckily we didn't pay a deposit..]. We want a bedroom, preferably with comfortable beds, a basic kitchen, a bathroom and a sitting room. We’re not pushed about television, except maybe for the weather forecast [who wants to watch the news on holiday?]. I can manage quite well without a swimming pool, or a sauna, or a barbecue, or a phone. I don’t need a dishwasher or a washing machine. I don’t need ironing facilities and I can bring my own hair dryer [which I don't use anyway]. I don’t need baby-sitting services, as I can trust Herself to look after herself when I’m down the pub. She’s old enough now.

As for location, we want peace and quiet. No immediate neighbours. No play areas. A view would be nice. And it should be within staggering, or even crawling distance of a pub.

It’s not much to ask. Is it?

14 Responses to “Holidays”

  1. irishflirtysomething IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 9:17 am

    Am off to holiday home in Cork which sleeps 20, luckily I am not the only one but still……..

  2. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 9:45 am

    Where are you going? Spike Island?

    Or are you just going on holiday with Twenty?

  3. Grannymar UNITED KINGDOMon 14 May 2007 at 10:06 am

    Grandad you will have to bring me to make up the numbers!

  4. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 10:15 am

    How many of you are there, Grannymar?

  5. Sean CANADAon 14 May 2007 at 11:34 am

    Well Grandad you should maybe start a cult. Besides the obvious benefit of increased income it would give you somebody to fill up the holiday homes with.

    And being you look like harold shipman they likely wont be asking to eat too often or drink the cool aid

  6. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 11:39 am

    Hmmmmm! Has possibilities. Anyone like to join?

  7. K8 UNITED KINGDOMon 14 May 2007 at 12:04 pm

    You’re going on holidays?!

    Anyone not going with Grandad to cork… come to an open house party!!!!!

  8. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Did I ask you to look after the house?

    We’ve changed the locks, by the way.

  9. Grannymar UNITED KINGDOMon 14 May 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Now a party or a holiday where I dare not eat…

    Why is life so difficult?

  10. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Good for the figure, Grannymar. We eat too much these days anyway.

    And before you accuse me of casting nasturtiums, I have no idea whether you need to lose weight or not.

    Yes. It can be a cult AND a health spa at the same time. Good idea.

    P.S. I see my ads at the bottom are nearly all encouraging me to go abroad. Are they trying to tell me something?

  11. Brianf UNITED STATESon 14 May 2007 at 6:16 pm

    “encouraging me to go abroad.”
    I thought you were married! Wouldn’t herself be a bit upset at that?

  12. Grandad IRELANDon 14 May 2007 at 6:27 pm

    She’s broad minded!

  13. baino AUSTRALIAon 15 May 2007 at 8:01 am

    What! You don’t want top end luxury and jacuzzis! What’s wrong with you people. I’m off for a weekend of jacuzzing and dvding - fablious!

    This looks nice and ‘rustic’ . . . http://www.shamrockcottages.co.uk/

  14. Grandad IRELANDon 15 May 2007 at 9:01 am

    I wouldn’t know what to do with a jacuzzi anyway. What’s wrong with just having a bath and breaking wind?

    Nice link - I missed that one. Thanks. And it has properties for two!!!!!

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