Strange things
Grandad May 21st, 2007
A strange thing happened on Saturday.
I went down to the shop to get the paper and some tobacco.
No. That’s not the strange thing - I do that every Saturday. But when I got home Herself asked if I had bought bread.
I’d forgotten [short term memory loss again!], but that happens all the time so that’s not strange.
I went back to the shop and bought bread.
When I got back, the strange thing was happening.
There was a car parked in my gateway.
There is more than enough space to park two or three cars in front of the house. In the past I have parked four. But this one was just blocking the gate. So I had to park outside.
I went into the house and the first thing I saw out the window was a bloke wandering around the garden with a clipboard and a camera.
“Who’s he?” says I to Herself.
“I don’t know,” says she “but he showed me identification. he’s from the government or something”. She suffers from short term memory loss too.
I watched him for a while. He was a distinguished looking gentleman. He took tons of photographs and made lots of notes on his clipboard. He waved to me and smiled when he saw me watching, so he was obviously harmless. He climbed in and out of the bushes and took more photographs. Eventually, after about half an hour he and his car just vanished.
My first thought was that he was CIA or had been sent by Bertie. But he was wearing a tweed hat and didn’t have dark glasses, so I dimissed the CIA. And he was much too intelligent looking to be one of Bertie’s pals.
Next thought was that he was from the Ordnance Survey. But it was Saturday, and he was too old for them. I’ve seen them at work. They are young lads and they rush around in a hurry. And they don’t use cameras.
Then I thought that maybe they were going to re-route the M3 through here to avoid the Hill of Tara, and I was about to be compulsorily purchased. But the government have made it plain that they aren’t going to re-route the M3 for anybody. They have their minds made up on that one, and nothing will shift them.
Maybe he was examining the birds’ nests? Maybe they are going to turn my garden into a National Monument? Maybe he was admiring my wee plot of “herbal tobacco”? Maybe Herself got it wrong, and he was from the press - “Excusive Pictures of Grandad’s House” across the front page of Hello magazine? [But then he would have wanted to interview me, so that's out].
Maybe he was just an amateur photographer with a new approach? He wasn’t very good, if so, as he missed the more picturesque parts of the garden. He missed the woodlands, and the pond. He missed the pile of old junk in the back woods. He missed the compost heap. He even missed the huge pile of election posters I’ve been collecting for a bonfire.
Strange.
Never mind. I’ll have forgotten about it tomorrow.
- Around the house
- Comments(27)
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Bad news for you Grandad?
K8 has put the house on the market!
Dum, di, dum, di, dum….
Do you know - you could be right?
If so, she’s not borrowing my hedge trimmer ever again.
Maybe he was a very low budget aerial photographer?
The thought did cross my mind that he might be from Google Earth, filling in some of the finer details.
It will take them a while to do the whole world that way.
BTW, how did you get past my spam filter?
Okay, fair cop. It was me. A new in-depth report on ecology of old badgers of the blogging type.
Bird shot in the rear,makes a great story at party’s.
D’you know, John - I thought I recognised you. Why didn’t you call in for a cuppa?
Popeye - Between shooting birds in the rear and tits flying around all over the place, this is quite an exciting place to live!
Reroute the M3 that far!!?!?!
For Christ’s sake man, I may hate Kells but then we’d be all day getting to Dublin if they took that route!
They did it with the Port Tunnel. If you want to go south to Rosslare, you have to head north to the airport. Shows how logical their planning is!!
Give me Spaghetti Junction any day …
Ah stop whinging. If I’m elected, I’ll extend the Luas to Cavan. OK?
Why didn’t you walk out into your yard and ask the guy why he was there.
You could have done it with the Purdy double and with your best John Wayne impersonation said, “You got business here, Mister?”
Where was the dog during all of this?
@Brian - Because it would have made Herself look foolish.
And the Purdy is only for politicians and tourists. He obviously wasn’t a tourist. Not with a car like that anyway.
@Caro - Locked in the back room. She had already removed one of his feet. He was quite OK about it, but said he’d like to keep the other foot, just in case.
Keep us posted, you’ve got my curiosity going. Could be ordinance surveyor for sure. They’re usual quite nice people, any other civil engineer couldn’t be as distinguished as you describe.
Ordnance Survey usually travel around in well marked Land Rovers, not battered old estate cars.
Jeez that’s damn weird - I’d almost be inclined to move if I were you.
I’ve been inspired though and plan to do just this next week around town - just to freak people out!
No way am I going to move. I’m well armed. I’m leaving here in the box.
I must have a very photogenic garden, though he missed most of the flower beds. He must have been an amateur?
Hmmm…I’ve seen this type of thing before…short term memory..and then…seeing strange men in the garden.
Does your TV talk to you too?
Do you talk back? Or just yell like everyone else at election times?
Now I mean this threat - the fifth person I hear saying the word election after this moment will be hunted down with a big bastard of a crossbow and shot.
And I’m in the UCD Archery Club - just try me.
election election election election errection.
My TV talks to me all the time, and that nice weatherman used to wink at me. But Sharon Ní Bheoláin won’t answer my letters
I wouldn’t worry about it. If the dog removed one of his feet then he was definitely from the government.
I’m not worried. I just don’t know what to do with the foot. The dog keeps trying to bury it in my bed.
Election
doing my best to increase tourism to Canada, on the plus side Dario its easy to see me coming LOL
Display it in the front porch with a little Fianna Fáil flag sticking out of it, bearing the words ‘Take your next steps somewhere else!’…?
Underneath the fridge magnet?
That or the (wonderfully!) defaced Mary Harney poster I saw recently. After ‘Don’t throw it all away’, someone had added ‘…I’ll eat it later’.