Grandad May 25th, 2007
I am depressed.
I am seriously depressed, to the point of despair.
We have more wealth pouring in than ever before. We are one of the fastest growing economies in Europe, if not the world.
Yet the outgoing government failed abysmally to deal with health, education, care of the elderly, crime, the environment; the list goes on and on.
They lined their own pockets and those of their cronies, and wasted hundreds of millions on futile projects with wanton recklessness.
But they make a few feeble promises and they look like they are going to get elected back in. Do the people of this country not remember that they didn’t keep the promises they made in the last two elections? Have the people of this country forgotten the litany of fiascos, scandals and tribunals?
It looks like we are in for another term of government from the Galway Tent. More backhanders. More brown envelopes. More pocket lining.
And worst of all - that little sh*t Ahern smirking at us.
How could you all do this to me?
I can’t decide between a military coup, mass murder or to renew my Prozac prescription.
I think I’ll go for all three.
Grandad May 25th, 2007
I was a floating voter up to yesterday.
So I floated down to the polling station to see what would happen.
The place was deserted except for a very bored looking garda and a few people sitting behind boxes. They looked like they were expecting thousands to arrive, and all started fighting to get me over to their table, because I was the only person there. And Herself of course.
Being a very conscientious person, I had recycled my polling card a couple of weeks ago, but that didn’t bother them. I just told them that I was famous and that was good enough.
So I cast my vote and went looking for the Exit Poll that they are always talking about. I found the exit, but no Poles. There were a couple of Lithuanians beating the crap out of each other, so I shot them. There was also a very beautiful blue butterfly on the ground. I carried him to a bush in case someone stepped on him.
I suppose you want to know how I voted?
I’m not in Bertie’s or Harney’s or McDowell’s constituencies so there was nothing I could do about them.
So I crossed the first candidate off the list and printed in Grandad. I gave myself Number One, of course.
Herself did the same. So if noone else turns up, I’m elected.
And the rest?
Well, they are all pretty much the same when the dust settles. I still couldn’t decide. Then it struck me. The perfect vote!
I gave them all my Number Twos.
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