My name is Grandad and I am an addict
Grandad June 5th, 2007
My name is Grandad and I am an addict.
It is a terrible thing to confess. What’s worse, it is a very embarrassing addiction. It has taken me months to pluck up the courage to admit it.
I am so ashamed of it, that even Herself doesn’t know about it, and we tell each other everything. Certainly, I never told our K8, as she could never hold her head up in public again. I can’t even go for counselling, as I’m too ashamed.
So here goes my awful confession [Oh God! I'm finding this hard!]…
I’m addicted to those horrible little games in Windows.
You know the ones – Solitaire, Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire.
I have tried removing them from my computer, but I just keep reinstalling them in my sleep. I have tried wiring them to my private parts so I get 1000v through my nuts if I play. But that rather adds to the pleasure, I’m ashamed to say.
I sit down to do the household accounts or write a book or something, and the next thing I know, I’m in the middle of another damn game of Minesweeper.
I blame RTE of course. They had the games installed on their computers and that is where I had my first furtive game of Solitaire. Little did I know the terrible path I was heading down. Little did I know of the sleepless nights to come, or the terrible cravings. If only I had known that some day I would be sneaking a quick game of Spider when Herself thinks I’m in the kitchen making a cup of tea.
I even tried switching to Linux, but I found that that comes with dozens of games, and I quickly got hooked on Mah Jong. I had to remove Linux immediately.
I’m so afraid of moving onto the harder games like the on-line ones. I know then that my life would be over.
I’m thinking of running away and joining the French Foreign Legion.
Maybe I could help them clear mines?
- Rambles
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You could come and do my garden! That might keep you out of trouble.
I’d find a pack of cards somewhere!
Mmmm… then we might play Poker!
Sounds good. It had better be low stakes though with the pension and all.
Grandad,
What is the jist of the rules for Minesweeper. It’s a weird game which I never really took the time out to figure out. Maybe you can dazzle me with your knowledge?
My mother can’t use a PC to save her life but she nearly cried when I reinstalled XP on the family PC because her top scores in Space Pin Ball got wiped.
It’s a tricky game to explain.
Best bet is to press F1
Once you get the hang of how it works, it’s a case of working against the clock to clear all the mines in the field. I think my best ever [non-cheating] scores were 6 seconds in Beginner and 109 seconds in Advanced.
It’s a game of chance combined with a lot of numerical mental gymnastics.
KEEP AWAY FROM IT.
Yes, Mah Jong is particularly dangerous; you should on no account install it on any computer you expect to get work done on.
And there is that other one who’s name I forget – little fella pushing blocks around a warehouse?
Fair play to you for coming clean. I did know about this addiction though, I have suspicions that it is genetic, as I have it too, as do a few friends of mine. I’ve been cursed from a height by one friend in particular for teaching him the knack of minesweeper.
I use these games to fill in the time taken for my slow internet connection to download webpages. Trouble is, you can’t stop playing midstream! This is proving very costly on my phonebills.
The creators of these games certainly knew what they were doing. I wonder are there minesweeper championships?
Oh my God – it’s genetic!! I wonder if I got it from my mother or my father?
I feel so relieved to have confessed though. It’s a huge weight off my mind. I have Come Out.
I believe the Minesweeper was introduced to teach people the concept of left and right clicking, while Solitaire was to teach drag-and-drop. But I know how to do these thing now!
Hey Grandad you should search the interweb maybe they have a 12 step program for you
maybe solitaire annonymous but that seems a little oxymoronic lol
I won’t make any comments about being oxymoronic or otherwise, but I like the idea of Solitaire Anonymous!
Join the Legion of Mary instead. It’s nearer and purer and safer.
Yes, those games can be addictive. I went through a tough phase with Galaxians. After considerable treatment by a retired shrink of Woody Allen’s I’m okay now.
I had to ban myself from the pinball – apart from the time it wasted I used to hit the keyboard as though the flippers on the game were real!
LOL! Download Snood. Don’t let Granny near it though! It’s incredible… if you like those other ones, you’ll be flying!
Deborah – you don’t get it? Do you? I am trying to get off the damn things; not load more. It’s like offering an alcoholic vodka as an alternative!
but I’ll forgive you your lack of sensitivities, and thank you for nominating me..
