Archive for June 11th, 2007

One of life’s little mysteries

Grandad June 11th, 2007

Electric kettles seem to act like old men.

After a few years they start to dribble and leave little puddles on the floor.

Absence make the heart grow fonder

Grandad June 11th, 2007

Our holiday is arranged.

Herself came in and thrust the phone into my hand.

“Give the man our credit card number” says she.

“Why?” says I.

“I’m booking a holiday in an hotel” says she.

So I gave him the number. He sounded very friendly. But then anyone who has just laid their hands on my card number should sound happy.

“Can I smoke my pipe in my bedroom?” says I. I have my priorities right. Forget about your star ratings and how near it is to the beach or whatever. I’ll stay in a kiphouse if I can smoke in my room.

“As much as you like” says he. “And we have a nice outdoor covered area outside the bar which I hope you will find very comfortable.”

I have stayed there before and it’s a lovely hotel. Very cosy and peaceful. And they have a great chef. It’s very quiet there. The nearest night club is about 50 miles away. There’s a nice cosy bar just down the road too, if I feel like a change of scenery. I don’t drink that much normally, but when I’m on holidays, I let the hair down and usually end up legless. I’ll probably be the noisiest guest in the place.

I can’t tell you where it is, because I know all you people in The West will come mobbing to see me, and the paparazzi might get word too. I mentioned this to the bloke on the phone, but he said I was OK as there were no under-passes nearby.

So I’ll be gone for a few days next week. You’ll have to manage without me.

The only problem now is that the memory is playing up again.

I can’t remember when we have booked for.