The road less travelled
Grandad June 15th, 2007
I like messing around with new technology. What bloke doesn’t?
So, when a pal of TAT’s offered me a loan of one of those new in-car navigation systems, I had to take him up on it. They always intrigued me, not only with their vast knowledge of our road systems, but also the way they know where you are all the time.
We installed it yesterday, and I thought I’d try it out. I wanted to hear it tell me how to get to the village, which is a mile down the road. So I programmed in my location, and I told it where I wanted to go. And off I went.
I normally turn right at the end of the lane, and I was a bit surprised when a sexy female voice told me to turn left. But with a voice like that, how could I refuse? Maybe it knew a shortcut I had never heard of?
It was very seductive, being given these silky instructions on where and when to turn, and I trusted it completely.
I began to have some doubts when I found myself paying the motorway toll at Drogheda, but I was sure the nice girl knew best. So I carried on.
It’s a long time since I had been to Sligo, and Benbulbin looked nice through the rain.
Another place I can recommend is the Lakes of Killarney at sunset. They looked beautiful and mysterious.
I began to have my doubts about Sexy Girl’s instructions somewhere outside Bristol. This did seem rather a long shortcut. So I asked her if she was lost. She remained confident, but I was getting worried. So I reprogrammed her to take me home again.
I’m not quite sure why she chose a route through Amsterdam, but I had never been there before, and it is a beautiful city at night. I was getting hungry at this stage and I asked her to find me somewhere to eat. No problem. She found me a very nice little all-night bistro just outside Cherbourg.
I arrived home a short while ago. I never did pass through the village. My confidence in technology is a little shaken.
When we head off on the holiday, I think I’ll use a map.
- Holidays , On the road
- Comments(10)
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You were in Amsterdam and you didn’t even drop in for tea - don’t tell me - the satnav wouldn’t let you?
She was very insistent. I did ask but she said she didn’t know where you lived anyway. Apparently they do have some limitations.
Did you check to see if Herself was hiding in the back of the car?
Bet she uses a sexy tone when she wants to.
I’d recognise her voice. No. It was definitely the SatNav. Maybe Sexy Voice just wanted some time alone with me?
Or maybe Herself had a quiet word…
“Keep him out from under my feet, he is always in my way”!
Herself wouldn’t do a thing like that. Would she?
LOL We men will do anything for a woman with a sexy voice wont we
Next time tell her no and maybe she will flirt with you to get you to do what she wants lol
Not a bad idea. I gave it back though. I don’t really need one as I know the way to the village by now.
I wonder if they sell a cheaper model that doesn’t tell you where you are or where to go? It just issues random instructions in a Sexy Voice. I can ignore them, but they’d be nice to listen too.
I’d like to borrow your amphibious car please it would be an inexpensive way to navigate through the floods we’re experiencing here on the central coast and the ideal way to travel to Tasmaina on a budget. You can leave SexyVoice at home. I already have one. (A sexy voice that is, not a satnav - women ask for directons we don’t need to be told by some smartass biatch inside a computerythingamyjig)
This is the weird thing, Baino. I never travelled across water. I think somehow, the yoke brought me through some other dimension to get there. Sort of like driving along a Möbius strip.
And why do women always have to ask for directions? Herself is always at me to stop and ask people. Even when I know I’m not lost.