Archive for July 22nd, 2007

New policy for tourists

Grandad July 22nd, 2007

I went to the village this afternoon.

I was sitting outside the coffee shop, enjoying my coffee and a puff on the pipe when I saw a couple of tourists.

They were prime targets. Not only did they look lost, but one of them was a SOTH [Sunglasses On The Head - for future reference]. I was just lining up the shot, when they caught me by surprise. They called me over!!

I crossed the road to see what they wanted. Luckily they didn’t notice the rifle. Apparently they wanted someone to photograph them. So I did. I shot them with their own cameras, so to speak. They were delighted and were very grateful. They then asked for directions………….

Now I felt a bit sorry for them. I was tempted to send them up to the bogs, but it’s getting quite crowded up there. And anyway, they were a nice couple. So I told them I was a stranger to the area, and they would be better off asking directions in the local supermarket.

None of the staff in the local supermarket speak English! They can’t find where the pipe tobacco is, let alone where the local tourist attractions are.

I went back to my coffee and waited to see which direction my friends ended up taking. They came out of the supermarket and headed off on the wrong road, of course.

So. No more bog. From now on, I’m going to send everyone into the supermarket.

I can take bets with myself as to which road out of the village they’ll take. It’s like a lottery.

It’s much more fun.

Am I a suicide bomber or just getting old?

Grandad July 22nd, 2007

I recently discovered I’m a Boomer.

This worried me for a while, as spontaneous explosion is a messy way to go. Ask any suicide bomber.

Apparently what it really is, is an age demographic, and it roughly means anyone born between 1945 and 1955. Trust the Americans to come up with that expression.

I have been following the Boomer Exploits on various American sites, as they have loads of blogs and sites for us oldies. One of the quirky things they say about us is that we are more likely to use emoticons. :o

I suppose this makes sense as we are more used to personal contact, and are still a bit bemused by all this anonymous typing-on-the-Internet thingy. We are used to finely crafted handwritten letters that explain how we feel, whereas the new technology forces us into brief, curt sentences where we have to explain everything in shorthand.

Emoticons are a convenient way of doing this.

If I wrote to someone and said “You are a greasy little dago” they might be insulted. But If I wrote “You are a greasy little dago ;) ” they know I’m only joking. I hope.

Anyway, Going Like Sixty has come up with some great new emoticons especially for us oldies. LOLX…..

-oOo-

Just as an idle point of interest, yesterday was the fist time ever, that this humble little site had more visitors from America than it did from Ireland.

Could it be that the Irish were all outdoors enjoying the first dry spell in 45 days?

Or did everyone follow me into Facebook and got lost? Like I did? I found quite a few of my Irish friends wandering around the corridors desperately trying to find their way out. It’s a very confusing place.

Or could it be that the Internet is turning me into an American?

I think I’m going to spontaneously explode…….