Today I learned that I live in a “vile, sodomite country”.
I learned that I live under a “Satanic, fag-inspired criminal law”. I always had my suspicions!
Apparently we “eat each other’s feces”. I knew the government spouted a lot of shit, but I don’t think I ever ate any of it. Is that where I am going wrong?
We “urinate on each other” [I have seen that going on in Temple Bar after a good stag night, all right]
Best of all, we are all Celtic Fudge-Packers and Irish Rump Rangers. [No mention of Shamrock Rovers?]
I think I have also discovered why it’s raining so much.
So Bertie is thinking of introducing an honours list?
Am I in with a chance? Who else is in with a chance?
Of course the first batch to go down will be the politicians themselves.
Lord Bertie of the Cayman Islands [or wherever the cash is stashed]?
Lord Gormley of the Gormless?
Harney becomes Baroness McDonalds?
Then we have to wade through the sports crowd, who have done nothing for Ireland except play with their balls, or run around a bit.
And there are all the people who have “helped Bertie out” financially. There’s going to be a lot of them. But a lot will be afraid of future tribunals, so they may keep quiet.
Eventually, he will get down to The Plain People of Ireland. You and me.
There will be Sir Grandad MBE [Master of the Blogging Empire]
Lord Twenty VC [Vicious C*nt]
Baroness Grannymar MP [Master Podcaster]
Dame Granny LTP [Lost The Plot, of course...]
Dammit! I can’t go through everyone. You can nominate yourselves.
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