You were warned
Grandad August 9th, 2007
I warned you last month.
But would you listen? No.
I pleaded for help. None came.
It’s Iraq all over again.
I have been invaded by the Americans. And not one of you b*st*rds in Ireland, the U.K. or the rest of Europe did a damn thing about it. I really know how Saddam felt.
Since the beginning of the month, 33.5% of my readers are American. Ireland comes second at a miserable 27.7% [traitors!]. And as for the U.K. - a pathetic 17%.
So I am now officially an American blog.
I have even been adopted by an American. I now have a 92 year old father living in Kansas. A father, I might add, that I’ve never met.
So you guys in Europe should be ashamed of yourselves. I’m even beginning to not know where Europe is. That’s how badly I’ve been Americanized.
I will hold on to my old values as long as I can. I will still spell color and theater the correct way. I will refuse to go to my local baseball or softball.
Please help. I’m being sucked under.
And I don’t even have any WMD.
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You could do what many Americans in Europe do — pretend to be a Canadian!
But ze French is.. how you say?… not very goot.
We always have had a soft spot in the States for the rugged individualist, the loner with a sense of chivalry. The outlaw with a heart of gold.
None of which explains why we read your blog. Maybe it’s because you say what you’re thinking, however foul or nasty!
Some day I want to stomp into retirement and be just like you!
I’m back in good auld Ireland now Grandad. That should push your Irish percentage up a bit.
“I will still spell color and theater the correct way.”
ROFLMAO
I think it might be too late for you Grandad, but I’ll see what I can do to help.
Dammit! Yiz are like buses - a long period of silence, and then you all come at once.
Diane - OK. So I’m foul, nasty, an old coot, an old codger and a duffer. And you want to be like me? With a beard? You are one strange lady…
B3n - Fair play to ya! Welcome back. Actually, I think the Brits are coming to my aid. Ironic, huh?
Yup.
UK 46%
US 28%
Miserable Irish 16% …..!
I can go back to speling proper.
George - Get off the floor and put your arse back on. That is no way for a gentleman to behave.
Ah, just give in and join the Yanks, they’re not all bad..
What are you trying to do to me Katherine? They can’t spell, they talk funny, they have crap television [even worse than ours!], they elected a looney to run the place and they only eat burgers and drink Bud.
I’d prefer to stay in this mad house, if you don’t mind….
Now that you’re American, Grandad,you’ll have to take the picture of D.G. out of your attic and substitute a picture of G.W.B.
Yeeeechhhh! Another damn good reason to stay Irish. Bertie may be an idiot, but at least he’s a relatively safe idiot.
Oi . . I’m down here,underneath Europe and America and sort of in the middle below Africa . . .and I know how to spell theatre just can’t afford to go to one!
How freaky I am losing American readers *considers implications, head hurts, stops*
Baino - I know where you are. You are almost directly underneath me. I’m afraid you Aussies aren’t doing much for the cause. You come in behind the Canadians at 4%. Go out and give those Bruces and Sheilas a nudge.!
Flirty - I hope they’re not yours that I’m getting? If so, could you take them back please? If not, I can give you some of mine?
What’s all this then?
Upset with your adoption already? Cranky ol’ so and so…
Your papers will be in the (e-)mail tomorrow - cheer up!
p.s. - i’m working on your maintenance by using an SEC dodge: I figure I can raise the necessary 20 per month easy…
I did not vote for the “looney” (or his father) and I drink gin & tonic most days, Irish Mist for special occasions. I forgive you all for the bus tour I took with my daughter - I guess no one has told the Irish highway department yet about trimming back the shrubs on the edge of the highway - my nerves have finally returned to normal, after 12 years.
Besides, I know how sensitive and caring all of you dear residents of the Ould Sod are, now that I’ve read Maeve Binchey.
Doc - I mean, Daddy - this 20 you keep talking about? Dollars? Euros? Kilos of Cocaine? Barrels of oil? Cruise missiles?
Diane - I glad you are one of the 60% that didn’t vote for him [isn't democracy wonderful?].
And we do trim back the hedges, trees and shrubs. We use tourist buses. Don’t you feel proud now that you were part of the effort to keep Ireland tidy?
I had post-card from Maeve Binchy somewhere, but I think I lost it..
Hey Cool Ole Guy:
I am an American who came to IRELAND twice-month each time- and toured every county but two. Fell in love with the INISHOWEN and all of Ireland. Never thought that would happen.
This is my first blog and I feel like a virgin- and an American one at that. Don’t watch t-v (much) but love British t-v like Cracker ( Coltrane) and Prime Suspect (Helen Mirren) and Inspector Lynley. Don’t eat burgers (much) and embarrassed by GWB. With that much said (foreplay over) let the games begin.
I am glad to have come there before you are totally corrupted by “modernization”…Ireland still has a soul….. I’ll be less verbose in the future and more reactive.OK, senior citizen?
Hi Jodee, and welcome.
I am honoured that you should lose your virginity on my blog, of all places.
I have some rather disturbing news for you. I have a feeling that you may not be American after all. You may be Irish. You are showing all the right symptoms.
Unfortunately, Ireland is now corrupted. We have become blinded by our own success. We have become a nation obsessed by money and possessions. But I will continue to lead the good fight. There are still quite a few of us Old Codgers left and we are not quite extinct. Yet.
You are more than welcome to call as often as you like. And be as verbose as you wish.
And which two counties have you missed?
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