If it ain’t broke - fix it
Grandad August 29th, 2007
This morning, I did what I do most mornings.
I made myself a cuppa, and sat down with the laptop, to check my mail.
“Server Not Found”
Bugger!!
Went to check a website or two…
“Page cannot be loaded”
Double bugger!!
I tried various things but couldn’t get connected.
Now, it’s still early in the morning so I’m not really thinking straight. I jump to the natural conclusion that my broadband has failed. Now this means a long phone call with my provider, where I will try to get my message through to someone who hasn’t a word of English. But I ring them anyway.
So I go through the usual hoops of pressing different numbers and listening to musak and ads and things and eventually get through to a real person. Foreign, of course, but a reasonable command of the language. I give him my details and explain that I have no service.
I have one of those cordless phones, and to while away the time I tend to wander around the place. I wandered over to my main PC [I am a man of the modern world - PCs all over the place!] and switched it on.
While I am telling this bloke that my service is down, the main PC starts downloading mail. All the usual penis enlargements start arriving in my inbox.
Shit!
I nip back to the laptop, and it is still dead. I realise then that somehow the wireless button thingy is not lit. Somehow, it got switched off. I switched it on, and there was my connection.
Double shit!!
And all this time, the bloke on the phone is protesting that he can find nothing wrong with my connection and I am insisting that I can’t connect. So what do I do now? If I admit it is my fault, then I will lose credibility and they will laugh at me and never take me seriously again.
The bloke then starts complaining that he can see traffic on my sector going to my connection. So I tell him that’s impossible. “There’s no connection,” says I “so how can there be traffic?”.
I demanded to speak to a supervisor. The supervisors there never speak to anyone [I don't think they have any] so I knew I was safe. He started to panic. He started pressing buttons all over the place. I could hear his keyboard clacking like mad.
“There.” I shouted, “Whatever you just did brought my service back!”
“But I did not do anything?” he replied.
“Yes you did,” I said “and my service is now fine. Thank you very much. You have been a great help, and I’m going to write to the management and tell them how good you are.”
I hung up.
I’m sure I have made him feel good. He feels he has accomplished something, and he has received a verbal pat on the back. The call wasn’t a waste of time.
Now I have to wade through the penis enlargements, and see if any of them are any good.
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‘Now I have to wade through the penis enlargements, and see if any of them are any good.’
Now ther is some admission from a Man!!!!!!
Try the one where you tie a 2 pound weight to your whatsit and let it dangle down your trowsers for a couple months. I don’t know if it works but it sounds incredibly painful and highly embarrasing so I know you are just the man to test drive the concept and give us a full report on it.
Good luck shorty
I am not worried about myself.
None of the women in the area haveHerself has never complained. I have been asked byK8a friend to be on the lookout for their boyfriend.‘Tis neither the length nor the breadth of it that matters, but the educated arse behind it.
ROTFPML!!
@Primal - That is brilliant
The poor bloke probably spent half the morning scratching his head and muttering about silly old farts… Then he probably told his mates to send you some further information on penis enlargements - I mean, he does have all your details, doesn’t he.
AV - It’s probably himself and his mates who are originating them in the first place. I know there are some very big pr*cks working there anyway..!
Grandad,
Do you realize that more money is being spent on Enlargements and Viagra and breast implants than on Alzheimers research?
By 2040 I figure there will be a large population of elderly people with perky breasts and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
ROTFPML!!
*cough*NERD*cough*
Whoa, awful case of insulting whooping cough lately. Txtspk s lik nt cul.
On an unrelated note, if you get any ads for some of those pills, send them my way …
oh shit…
It wasn’t but an hour later that I found myself sitting bolt upright in my bed, screaming, over and over and over again……
Doc - I think you’re taking the wrong pills again?
Daz - I have dispatched this weeks mail to you in an articulated lorry. Reading them will keep you up all night…..
Hmmmm…no all 3 of those pills and the button were the correct ones, in the proper sequence.
Ahhhhh…I see: you think I was commenting on this post! Sorry, it was a trackback ping from my own site as a…
Well, a small courtesy, really.
About a tiny upcoming change in your life.
Certainly nothing to fret about…
Curious…how big is your place?
Ah! It didn’t appear as a trackback for some reason.
So you are coming to live here? That’s fine. I’ll clear out the garden shed [it's about 8 foot by 4 foot. That OK?].
“the garden shed ”
oh, i think we will be ale to do better - i bring great news…ah, this IS exciting!
If you’ve won the state lottery, then you can have my side of the bed, and I’ll have the shed. At a price…..
Thanks, one brand promises to make my penis as long as a fire hose!
Now no one can say I can’t put out fires with it …
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