Grandad September 9th, 2007
Sharon Ní Bheoláin
Oh Sharon! Sweet Sharon!
You are my life’s desire.
Every time you read the news
You set my loins heart on fire.
I turn you on at nine o’clock
To hear you talk of crime.
I’m not concerned with what you say.
You turn me on all the time .
Night after boring night
I pray you’re on the telly.
You rarely smile, but when you do
My stomach turns to jelly
Dobson is a mighty man,
And Hammond’s age is showing.
But Sharon, when you take your turn,
You set my juices flowing.
The news is all crime and death;
It’s a very depressing show.
But now that you are reading it,
I can feel my interest grow.
I bought myself a six foot screen
To watch you read the news
But when I switched you on last night,
You went and blew my fuse.
Grandad September 9th, 2007
Apparently the Pope has blasted us for not having more children.
Why? What business is it of his?
He has also, in a surprise statement, slammed abortion.
In the same speech he reaffirms religious celibacy.
He seems to be a little confused.
From what I have seen in the past, the Church has been very vociferous in its anti-abortion stance, yet has been remarkably absent in providing any kind of support for unwanted children. Maybe if they removed their celibacy rule, they might find that bringing up a child in this day and age is not as easy as they might suppose.
If they want more children, why not remove their celibacy rule, and let the priests breed like rabbits [not that they do their best anyway, in a lot of cases]?
The Church has been criminal in the past with its treatment of the results of clerical abuse. They have ignored the victims, and have piled emotional trauma on top of physical and sexual abuse.
So why does the Pope want us to have more children?
Are they running out of supplies?
The Pope chooses his main course
from the a la carte menu
