Head Rambles

Satisfactory tests

Grandad September 20th, 2007

The Managing Director
Munitions R Us
Harrisburgh
PA
USA

Dear Sir,

I would like to acknowledge receipt of 500 of your Ranger Mk I Anti-SUV Smart Missiles.

We have conducted preliminary tests with these and have found them to be eminently satisfactory.

They were able to distinguish SUVs even on crowded motorways.

In particular, we would like to say how impressed we are with your use of fuel-air explosive. Not only does this vaporise the missile but also the target vehicle as well, thus leaving no trace of the incident, and an intact road surface.

Our R&D Department has examined your product and is extremely impressed with the standard of manufacture.

We would suggest one or two minor improvements however.

We have discovered that if you modify Integrated Chip I377 by short-circuiting legs 34 and 39, and introduce a 5pf capacitor between leg 16 on I29A to chassis, the missile is also capable of seeking out and destroying Jedi. We thought you might like to incorporate this in future production models.

We are currently close to a modification that will seek out and destroy supporters of George W.

We would like to place a preliminary order for a further 1,000 [one thousand] of these missiles to be dispatched forthwith.

Looking forward to doing continuing business with you,

Yours faithfully,

Grandad

Rambles
Comments(9)

9 Responses to “Satisfactory tests”

# robert on 20 Sep 2007 at 10:07 am

You might need more than just 1000!
# Grannymar on 20 Sep 2007 at 11:41 am

Robert, don’t encourage him!
# Niall on 20 Sep 2007 at 11:44 am

Can you make a cluster version? Then fit it onto on the sentry guns from Aliens and put one or two on the top of the Toll Booth on the M50.

Make sure to put up a webcam as well
# Grandad on 20 Sep 2007 at 11:47 am

Robert - “preliminary order“. OK?

Grannymar - You don’t drive an SUV do you? *evil grin*

Nial - No way. They’d just learn to avoid the area. The whole point of the system is that they don’t see it coming.
# Niall on 20 Sep 2007 at 11:55 am

Grandad:

Perfect!!!! Might be able to drive the length of the M50 in under a day then.

Niall.
# Grandad on 20 Sep 2007 at 1:42 pm

Niall - Not only that, but you’ll be able to park when you get there.
# Jimberly on 22 Sep 2007 at 7:22 am

But why Jedi??
# Grandad on 22 Sep 2007 at 11:29 am

Why not, Jimberly? They took a dislike to me for no reason and started spamming this site without telling me why. They are even threatening to haul me before some ‘court’. They need to be put out of their misery.
# supershadow on 07 Oct 2007 at 7:06 pm

grandad its not that bad
the force is not with u. its not your fault.
anywAY SUPERSHADOW FORGIVES U AND JIMBERLY MY SERVANT FORGIVES U.