Head Rambles

Archive for October 3rd, 2007

The Black Knight and the Monster - Part Deux

Grandad October 3rd, 2007

All right, children?

You have had your nap, so I will continue my story……..

The villagers had a merry time that night, and they feasted, and drank and sang their merry song.

The next morning they did feel a little weary and somewhat hungover.

Suddenly a cry went up - “The Monster is coming! The Monster is coming!”.

Immediately Michele, the Black Knight rode forth. He was feeling strong now for the people of the whole world had heard the story, and were behind him.

“What to you want now?” cried the Black Knight.

The Monster [who was now calling himself James Mailley - he does that to confuse people] bowed before the Black Knight.

“Oh Michele!” he cried. “I have done wrong in throwing tins of spam at your people. I realise that now. Anyway, it wasn’t me. It was someone else who said he was me. I am sorry!” He burst into tears.

The Black Knight was a good man at heart, and not at all lower class. He felt sorry for the Monster.

“That is all right” He cried. “But don’t f*cking do it again!”

The Monster promised to be good, and the people cheered. They went back to their drinking and merry making, and had a large feast of baked Spam.

The Monster crawled back to his cave. He was not happy. He cheered himself up with a meal of roast John Burns and followed it up with a Pedro Luciani flambée

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Except John Burns.

And Pedro Luciani.

The Black Knight and the Monster

Grandad October 3rd, 2007

And it came to pass that the Monster came out of his dark and reeking cave and came down to the village and started throwing tins of spam at the villagers.

The villagers cried “Stop. For this is Spam, and we do not want it”.

But the Monster had stolen their addresses and carried on throwing the tins of spam.

And the villagers brought forth the Black Knight, who was also known as Michele who faced up to the Monster. The Black Knight did write large the evil deeds of the Monster who was also called himself John Burns. The monster was not pleased.

A pipsqueak who called himself Pedro Luciani came forth from the Monsters cave and said that the Black Knight knew not what he was talking about and that the Monster was a nice Monster.

The Black Knight told Pedro Luciani to shut up as he was a friend of the Monster, but Pedro Luciani said he knew not the Monster and that the Black Knight was of the lower classes.

The Black Knight laughed for he knew that Pedro Luciani was from the Monsters cave, so he spanked him on the bottom and sent him crying home to his mammy.

The other Knights, Damien Mulley and Tom Raftery also came to defend the villagers and told the Monster to go away.

But the Monster threw a fit and said that he was not called John Burns.

“What shall we call you then?” cried the Knights.

“Call me by another persons name, but don’t call me John Burns” said John Burns.

The villagers and the Knights all laughed, but this did anger the Monster, and he threatened to bring forth his army of legal people.

“Bring them on!” cried the Black Knight, “for I too have an army of legal people and you have done wrong by stealing the villagers names and throwing spam at them”.

And the Monster skulked back to his cave, for the people were laughing at him.

The people rejoiced and sang songs and told Digg about the Monster.

And that is enough for now children…..

Time for bed.