Head Rambles

Grandad October 11th, 2007

I wandered over to Poodwaddle.

I know that sounds like some place in the Australian Outback, but it isn’t. It’s a weird site that has all sorts of clocks on it.

I went to the Age Calculator.

I put in my age, and then answered all 33 or 34 questions. I didn’t lie. I told the absolute truth. I even told the truth about my smoking.

Interesting.

Apparently, my Virtual Age [which is apparently the state of physical health of my body] is only 40.9. Sure I’m only a nipper!!

The other thing though, is that apparently my life expectancy is 94.1. I like the 0.1 - it means I can calculate to the month.

This means I have another 30 to 40 years to go [assuming Ron or the CIA don't get me first].

Will my pension last that long?

Can you put up with me for that long?

Can I put up with me for that long?

-oOo-

Damnit!!

As soon as I posted this they removed the clock out of Poodwaddle, for legal reasons.

They give an alternative site, so I took the test there.

That gives me a physical Age of 36.5 !!! I’ve just gained four and a half years

And my life expectancy has shot up to 99. Wow. I might get the telegram from the Pres yet…

• Getting old
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Grandad October 11th, 2007

Someone please help me on this.

I was in the kitchen the other night and the television was on. The ad-break came on, but I was too busy cooking to mute the sound.The next thing, I hear the words

“Is Jennifer Aniston in a love triangle?
What would you give to find out?“

Or words to that effect.
The answer is that I wouldn’t give the steam off my p*ss.
I couldn’t give a flying f*ck about Jennifer Aniston.

But what worries me is why anyone would care. Jennifer Anniston is, at best, a third rate actress, so why should anyone care what she gets up to in her private life?

What is it about Brad, Angelina, Mel B, J-Lo, Paris Hilton and the rest of these non-entities? I don’t even know who half of them are. Nor do I care.

What is this obsession with the private lives of these people?

Of course, the queen of them seems to be that anorexic bitch Victoria Beckham. What has she done for the world? She’s a failed singer who is married to a footballer. So what?

What is this ‘celebrity’ thing?

There are people in the acting world who I admire. They are great actors. The likes of Judy Dench, Anthony Hopkins and Kevin Spacey to name just three. We never hear about them, and quite rightly so.

It’s the young crowd. They all seem to have two things in common: they are third rate, and they seek the limelight. And the youth of today seem to lap it up.

Why?

I am sick and tired of people sending me spam about Angelina Jolie and Paris Hilton.

This is just ONE [Yes - just one, out of many] spam I received:

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They are even offering me fake Paris Hiltons!! Paris Hilton is a fake anyway. Who is she? A tart with a few bob to her name? A slapper who loves notoriety?

Will somebody please, please tell me what this ‘celebrity’ sh*t is all about?

• Rants
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