Archive for October 17th, 2007

Yesterday was Friday and tomorrow is Monday

Grandad October 17th, 2007

Most of the time I know what I am doing.

Most of the time I know where I am.

Rarely do I know when I am.

This seems to be a problem in this household. We keep getting confused as to what day of the week it is. In fact, I had to buy a watch especially. I like analogue watches, because I have always used them. I hate digital watches. So I have an analogue watch with a digital display on it that shows me the date, and more importantly the day.

Yesterday, I received an email from one of my probation officers. He wanted a report [for the courts or something], and he wanted it urgently. I wrote back and said I was busy [because you can't let these people boss you around]. I said I would do it over the weekend and would have it for him by Monday.

Then I realised that it was Tuesday and not Friday, and I had to write back and apologise. And I hate apologising to probation officers. It upsets the natural pecking order.

With one thing and another, things are a bit hectic here at the moment. Gone are the glory days when I could relax and surf around the blogs, not leaving comments on them [yes - I'm a lurker]. Gone are the days where I could have a reply for everyone who commented.

You see, I suddenly have a whole load of things to do on the work front, and it is annoying me. My fuckwads customers punters clients keep changing the goal posts and they suddenly want everything yesterday [having been quite happy and quiet for most of the year].

All I want to do now is take a nap. But I can’t because I have so much to do. And anyway those b*st*rds next door are making too much noise.

dizzy
So if I’m a bit erratic with my postings in the future, or if I don’t reply to all your comments, I’m sorry.

I’m tired.

I’m weary.

God help me if the battery in my watch dies.

Don’t pee on my patch

Grandad October 17th, 2007

I am being driven demented by noise.

Next door are still rebuilding after the fire I started, and they are hammering all day, every day. I am going up the walls, but I suppose I can’t really complain.

Yesterday a new noise started up. There was some loud rumbling coming from the lane and that really got on my tits.

I went out in the afternoon to set some traps. They are old miniature mantrap type things, and they are very handy for catching people who get through the minefields. While I was out there, I decided to go and see what the racket in the lane was about.

As I came around the corner of the house, the first thing I saw was a man pissing through the bars of my gate. Quick as a flash, I whacked a trap onto his manhood which was poking through the bars, and meant he couldn’t move, as the gaps in the gate are quite narrow. Jayzus, but that bloke could scream! But I don’t like people pissing on my land. It’s like a dog thing. Territory, and all that.

It transpired that he had been filling the potholes in the lane with asphalt, and the noise was coming from a big vibrating roller. This was still idling away and still making a racket.

I decided to gave a go with it. It’s a great yoke. I think I’ll hold onto it.

Oh! And if anyone from the County Council is reading this, could you please come and collect your employee.

I don’t know his name, but he’s wearing a DayGlo jacket and a greasy cap. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He’s about 16 feet tall, 4 foot wide and about half an inch thick.