I didn’t shoot Kennedy
Grandad October 26th, 2007
There is an old cliché that says that everybody remembers where they were when Kennedy was shot.
That is a load of b*ll*x.
I don’t.
I was young, footloose and fancy-free. I could have been anywhere. I could have been doing my homework, though that is very unlikely as I never did my homework. I could have been shagging Pauline from up the road [though now that I think about it, that was all in my mind at the time]. I could have been reading my brothers collection of p0rn that he thought I didn’t know about [that's quite likely].
Quite frankly, at that age I didn’t give a toss about America or American presidents. That was in the time before television rammed America down our throats, so the U. S. of A. was just somewhere people went when they couldn’t get a job. I know there was a bit of a faff when he came to visit Wexford earlier in the year, but that was the extent of my lack of interest.
I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis all right, because we were all asked to pray for peace, and the world held its breath. I didn’t, personally, because I had more important things on my mind. Like sex. Testosterone was surging through my veins, and my number one priority was the fairer gender. World peace came way down the list.
I know I was in Ireland. But that’s not memory. That’s logic. I can even narrow it down to the eastern half of the country.
I know where I wasn’t.
I wasn’t in Dallas.
So it wasn’t me.
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Course it wasn’t you.
It was the Jedi.
They are from Texas.
http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/
I was in school. I was in second grade at St. Margaret Marys. Father Lytle, the Pastor and Headmaster came into our class and announced the death of the President. We all said a prayer and he moved on to announce it to another class. We were released early and sent home.
I vividly remember the day of his funeral. My Mom crying as the casson was paraded through Washington but much more important to me was the cake my two oldest sisters were making in the kitchen. There were beaters to lick and frosting to swipe. There was a footbal out back that needed throwing and a dog that needed to chase me around the yard. There were swings that needed swung upon and bicycles that needed to be ridden.
I was in second grade.
Ian - Good grief! They are a recognised religion in America? I’ll say nothing!!
Brianf - All these years on, and we still haven’t changed!
I was an egg in an ovary.
The alpha-egg.
I can relate to this grandad. It’s doubtful that I’d even remember where I was when I was shot, so President Kennedy doesn’t stand a chance.
Hrrrrumph!
Daz - Hard boiled, as ever….
Terence - Don’t worry about it. I couldn’t tell you what time I got up this morning…
Hate to tell you Grandad, but what’s on TV isn’t America. It’s L.A. and New York entertainment industry and those people are on a different planet in a different universe. They’re like a bunch of tourists who go to Dublin for a week and go home acting like they have a brogue while calling Bud Light a “pint”. May God strike them down for sullying the sacred.
Now if I could just remember where I was when I woke up this morning….
I remember watching the funeral and wondering why little John F was there. He looked like my brother in his little dress coat. Then I think someone licked the channel and we watched Dr Who and ate egg and watercress sandwiches. Either that or I pulled the head of my Barbie. I too was in second grade.
I’ll never forget it…..I was in the Navy nurse corps and he was my “commander in chief”……I was working in the Balboa Naval Hospital in San Diego, Calif…….by the way……the person who wrote about the U.S.A. not being what you see on t.v. and in the movies is correct I think…. I live in the mid-west and mostly we are very sensible folks…..really enjoy your blog.
But you DID shoot Ronald Reagan in order to impress Jodie Foster, right? That other guy was hired by you to take the fall. How IS Jodie these days? Do you still write long, rambling letters to her?
Yeah, an America-centric world, while not the ideal, is pragmatic. As a Canadian, i can remember what I was doing when I heard Kennedy was shot, but i remember much more clearly where I was when Robert kennedy was shot, because it seemed like the end of the enlightened era to me.
I remember where I was when Tommy Cooper died. I was watching television. And I was laughing. Because for a moment we didn’t know that Tommy Cooper wasn’t joking; he was dying.
And I was in an Indian takeaway in Coventry when I heard Rajiv Gandhi died.
I do so want to throttle people who upon the occasion of some newsworthy event tell me that we will all remember this moment. And if I could remember who they were, I would throttle them.
I know exactly where I was..out behind the school in the bushes..trying to talk Laura “Ms. tight buns ” out of her panties..unsuccessfully I might add…
Oh my god Ted Kennedy’s been shot???
Still trying to work on the age thing… Can you let me know how old you were when you were shagging w/ Pauline?
Gaye - Jayzus! Will ya stop stalking me. I never shagged Pauline. She was a friend’s sister and I fancied her.
Herself just celebrated her 60th. That any help??
Okay, tell me this please then if you would, are you her toyboy or is it the traditional boy older than girl scenario? I told you, it’s an unhealthy obsession maybe but I had to work with conflicting data, such as young grandfather but then the whole senior citizen thing and the craft guild thing!
Well, if it’s annoying you, I will abort the mission. 
Gaye - We are of an age [as they say]. Actually I am younger, by a year or so. I never let her forget it! That answer your question?
[and no - worrying me rather than annoying me!]