Archive for October 29th, 2007

How to drive in Ireland - The Basics

Grandad October 29th, 2007

Which side of the road should you drive on?

This is optional, but generally Irish drivers drive on the left. However, for a couple of hours each side of pub closing time, either side will do.

The most important thing to remember is - when you see a driver coming towards you, you go to the other side. Simple. This may prove tricky on a blind bend, but you have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right, so don’t worry.

Originally, we all drove on the left. This was because everyone else drove on the right, and we wanted to be different. The U.K. had to tag along with us, because it would have been too awkward at the border with Norn Iron. However, this policy was officially abandoned in 2005 when Minister McDaid did the grand opening of the new policy.

Roads

Roads in Ireland tend to vary. In fact they go around a lot of corners and things.

Since Ireland discovered Money, there has been some investment in roads. This has essentially been concentrated in building Toll Booths. On the minor roads [i.e. anything that hasn't been designated a Motorway] there has been a lot of work done in the installation of pot holes.

Roads in Ireland are constructed with two criteria in mind - to cause maximum damage to the environment and heritage, and to cause maximum surprise. The latter is very clever, as they build stretches of motorway that lead straight into the middle of some God-forsaken village in the middle of nowhere. So the road goes from six lanes to the width of a car in a matter of seconds, with no warning whatsoever. Sleeping while driving is not a good idea.

The erratic nature of motorway building is explained by the fact that the Irish government uses motorway construction as a means to discovering sites of archaeological interest. To date, many fine examples of Irish heritage have been discovered through motorway building. Of course, these sites are immediately built over. We can’t have history standing in the way of progress.