It's milking time
Grandad November 10th, 2007
It’s my favourite time of year.
No. Nothing to do with leaves turning colour or falling off. Nothing to do with the rapidly approaching C day. Nothing to do with the long nights. Nothing to do with the cold.
No.
It’s that time of year when my feet make a lovely sound as I walk through the fallen receipts. Yes – it Tax Return Time!!
I love doing tax returns. I love hunting through files for receipts and invoices. I love all those calculations. I love all those obscure questions they ask on the forms.
But above all I love the thought that I am contributing in my own small way to Bertie’s salary.
Poor Bertie. he works very hard at his corruption. He has all those payments to forget, and all those brown envelopes to burn. And then there is the Tribunal. That must be exhausting and very expensive.
I know he has just told us to tighten our belts, and that we mustn’t be greedy when looking for pay increases, but I really think he is worth nearly €1,000 a day. My income is a teeny teeny fraction of his, but I must do my bit to contribute to his lifestyle and his offshore accounts. Even if it does mean living off frozen mince for the next year.
Wait a minute……
What’s this?
Negative values?
They owe ME money!
Well, f*ck you Bertie, you snivelling little b*ll*x. You snide little gangster. You corrupt little sh*t.
give me my f*cking money.
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I love how we give our gub’mints interest free loans every year.
Grandad,
I’m amazed at how fast the Revenue Commissioners can process my tax return if they think I have underpaid on 31st October and owe them more. On the other hand, if I have overpaid, it seems to take much longer. Strange that.
However, the redeeming feature is that unlike Brianf’s government, our government does pay interest on overpayments. It’s quite nice to get interest from the taxman.
One of the great modern inventions is the on-lie payment of tax. If they owe me money, they have no excuses! In fairness to them, it just appears in my account.
As for interest – I hate it when they show an interest in me. If they ever find those Krugerands buried in the old barrel in the garden, then I’m bunched.
“bunched” sounds so much more uncomfortable than “screwed” . I wonder why that is?
Lorna – Now you have me thinking. I don’t know where I got that word from. I use it the odd time, but there is no reference to it on the Interweb. Is it a colloquialism? Is it slang? Have I invented a word?
You know those tightly foil wrapped chocolate bars?
You know when you open it, your left with a little triangular corner piece of wrapper?
I want a tax put on that.
SID – I’ll go along with that, if we can have a tax on ‘easy open peel back’ packs of rashers that need a Kango hammer to open ‘em?
Yup, and while your at it tax these prisons
Yay!! Great one
And when you do get them open, you slash yourself to ribbons on the edges!
I got a tax refund last year.
That’s all. Just thought I’d share (the story, not the money)
As you were..
We’re about to get tax cuts if the current government is reinstated on 24 November. More money in our pocket to pay for the rising cost of a mortgage, private health care and increased public transport charges. Thanks Johnny . . ta a lot!
g’dad, want to trade “leaders”? We have one we’d like to get rid of. We don’t want yours, though. Oh, what to do..
[...] head of an Irish Senior Citizen It’s milking time It’s my favourite time of year. No. Nothing to do with leaves turning colour or falling [...]