Eco-friendly, my backside
Grandad November 16th, 2007
Rant coming….
I am sick to the hind teeth of all this crap about Global Warming, being Environmentally Friendly and being Eco-Aware.
It’s all you hear about now. It has become a politically correct bandwagon that reeks of smugness.
For example, I have seen items about "Eco friendly driving lessons" For f*ck’s sake, what is that about? If you want to be so eco-friendly, don’t drive. I read a full spread in a magazine yesterday, telling me how to have an environmentally friendly Christmas. They can f*ck off. And advertisement isn’t an advertisement unless it is spouting about how it is more environmentally aware than its competitors.
I have had a bellyful.
Why should I care, when the sky is full of jet aircraft. Why should I care, when industry pumps millions of tons of pollution into the air? Why should I care, when the real polluters don’t?
So. Until the Big Boys get their act together, I’m converting my car to leaded petrol. I’m going to burn all my rubbish [especially plastic] in my garden. I’m going to hack down half a forest until I find the right Christmas tree for me. I’m going to burn good old coal in my fireplace. I’m going to drastically increase my consumption of beans, cabbage and onions to produce as much methane as possible.
Even if I manage all that, I doubt I’ll do as much damage in a year as a single flight by some Environment Minister going to some trivial meeting somewhere.
F*ck this. I’m off to find myself an oil refinery.
- Global Warming , Rants
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The environmental thing is really grating on my nerves at the moment too. As if all this global warming- if it really exists- has got more to do with me forgetting to turn off a light than the consumption of world leaders and industry…aaghh
I’m with you on this one! I recycle and compost and now I have to pay a new ‘Environmental’ tax on my 1.6 car! I wouldn’t mind if it went to environmental projects but no, that little tax will go straight to the Bertie ‘I need a proper house’ fund. Grrrrr! Angry Face!
I thought I’d be flamed on this one [thereby adding more pollution]. I’m glad others feel the same way.
I can guarantee you that Al Gore causes more pollution in a day than I do in a year.
And I hate that smugness!
There’s a great South Park episode where America is threatened by a huge cloud of Smug because everybody starts driving hybrids.
I love it!!
You are right Grandad. We fill are stupid green bins with deadly erm cardboard whilst multi-nationals releases gasses more toxic than Harney’s armpits. Like pissing against the wind I tells ye.
Is this the start of the Great Eco Backlash?
Fuckin’ A, bro. And don’t forget to feed your cows more grass for more cow farts.
Not only feed ‘em more grass, but feed ‘em Grass. Happy farts. And maybe we can get stoned on the wind. Now that’s what I call environmentally friendly!!
But how would a vet do his job if he got out of his head every time he shoved his hand up a cow’s arse?
These are the things people never stop to think of when dreaming about hallucinogenic cow flatulence.
The point is – he wouldn’t
give a shitcare, would he?Funny timing this… yesterday a girl at the office asked me if my Belfast boy could get her two of those “I’m not a plastic bag” bags. I’d never heard of it so I googled it to find out it’s a canvas bag that originally sold for 5 quid. People lined up for hours to get one and now they’re fetching $400 or more on eBay all because some designer put out a limited run… ridiculous!!!
I think my co-worker must have been smelling *happy farts* to think I’ll get her one.
There is one born every minute!
Anyone who shells out $400 for a not-a-plastic bag should be quietly put down.
Keep smelling
OMG I’d totally respond longer except I’m idling on the highway in my overpowered BMW (brand spankin’ new and flown to me from Germany) on my iphone (there’s a drawer full of discarded cell phones) and I’m on my way to the mall so I can buy more stuff.
But it’s all gonna be from environmentally friendly companies (in France).
xoxo
Sue
Oh crap I dropped my water bottle.
Yay! We’re a dying breed anyway.
Sue – Could you not use non-environmentally French companies? You have everything else right!
SID – Not if we fight back.
I’ll go find that oil refinery with you. We’ve got a store here refusing to sell cut christmas trees. They are selling the fake ones. The “branches” of the fake trees have lead in them. Very nice stuff to have around your kids.
There’s a term for this, Grandad – green fatigue. It looks like more and more of us have got it. As you say, until the people at the top have trimmed their own thoroughly wasteful and extravagant lifestyles – the private jets, the three homes, the gas-guzzlers, the luxury hotels – why should the rest of us make any sacrifices?
That’s it! I’m pulling my old 1969, 450HP, tire burning, leaded fuel only, 14 MPG (downhill) Oldsmobile Cutlass 442 out of retirement and convert it to run old on old used motor oil cut with used kerosene. Then I’ll go ram it around the White House lawn a few times.
See you when I get out of prison.
Great post Grandad. Guess you’re not going to get flamed at all.
OK, I’m in. I’ll go buy a 69 Coupe de’ Ville convertible with a 502CID V8 (~8MPG) that runs on leaded gasoline and then instead of wood I’ll burn cans of Fuel oil in my fireplace. Instead of a rake I’m going to buy a gas powered leaf blower. Then I’ll trade my 44MPG Civic for a Dodge 1 ton pickup truck with a Cummings Diesel motor. Yea, that should get about 5MPG as long as I keep off the highway. I’ll stop with all the yard work and just spray the weeds with pure 100% crude oil until they die.
Then I’ll shop only at stores that import their goods from as far away as possible, preferably by truck or large airplanes. Oh, yea then I stop getting my news from the interwbicals and TV but instead start buying newspapers again. I gotta’ chop those trees down! Oh, yea think of all the diesel trucks used to move the dead trees
I have been given, thanks to the wetness of my local authority, 6 different rubbish containers. Three bins, one box, and two bags. This only started in the beginning of October, and already I’ve lost interest trying to work out which type of bottle goes where. My normal wheelie bin is as full as ever, and the assorted boxes and bags are blowing around the garden somewhere
I’ll become eco-friendly when I notice that my “recycling” would actually make a difference.
Green Fatigue? Yes. That sums it up nicely.
I am surprised. I thought I would get at least one complaint that I am advocating the total and immediate destruction of the planet within 24 hours by my writings. Not one!
The day I’m looking forward to is the day when they realise that Global Warming is an entirely natural phenomenon and there is f*ck all they can do about it anyway!!
It seems like global warming is being caused by us. The debate goes back and forth, but I know for sure that most of the stuff we currently do is not good for the environment. When something just doesn’t break down like plastic, you know that’s not good. I have noticed a huge change myself as I can barely breathe half the time with the horrible air quality.
Welcome, Pays To Live Green! What would concern me is your “seems like”. There are a lot of theories that climate change is man made. Equally there are a lot of theories that it isn’t [we don't hear as much about then though because thay aren't 'politically correct'].
I have absolutely nothing against being environmentally aware. I am sick of the shops plying us with mountains of packaging we don’t need. I always switch off lights and the like, simply because it makes sense. What really gets me going though is the hype about the whole thing.
Incidentally, you mention air quality.. I remember fifty years ago when smog was a common occurrence in the cities. The air is a heck of a lot cleaner than it used to be!