Grandad exposed

Grandad January 3rd, 2008

I am beginning to realise that fame has its price.

I am late in writing today, because I have just been interviewed by the lovely Deirdre Walsh on Radio Kerry

No.  It was nothing to do with blogging.

They wanted to talk to me because I am an endangered species.  Along with various whales and tigers.

Yes.  Pipe smokers are almost extinct.  I am going to apply to Brussels for a preservation order, but in the meantime, Radio Kerry wanted an archive of an interview with a real live pipe-smoker, before we are overpowered by the cigarette smoking hoards.

Also, my other little sideline has been exposed on the Interweb.

That b*st*rd Dick has blown my cover.  He never got over the Ron thing and has been itching to get his own back ever since. He has discovered the real reason behind Head Rambles and has posted about it.

What’s worse, he was obviously at the New Years Eve party [though I don't remember seeing him there], and the f*ck*r had his camera with him.

Now, we celebrities have our rights.  We have a right to private lives.  We resent media intrusion.  Just ask Paris Hilton or Jane Goody. Look what happened to Diana.  So when Dick starts publishing private photos of me on the Interweb, I get annoyed…..

 grandad-senior-porn

I’m off to see my solicitor, and buy some pipe tobacco.

21 Responses to “Grandad exposed”

  1. K8 UNITED KINGDOMon 03 Jan 2008 at 11:50 am

    Euugh. I just boked all over the keyboard. TAT’s going to kill me.

  2. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 11:55 am

    You should have seen the original!

    No. On second thoughts, you shouldn’t. You are my daughter after all….

  3. Neighbour IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 1:23 pm

    We took a video of the whole thing. Dick just got a preview. We are open to offers from publishers or those who might wish to avoid further exposure . . .

    BTW. The goat ate your trousers.

  4. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 1:39 pm

    If you are trying to blackmail me, Neighbour, then feel free. As you can see, I have nothing to hide. In fact, if you give me the video, I’ll put it on the web.

    Great night, by the way. I really enjoyed it. Sorry about all the bloodstains though [and the hole in the ceiling]. We must do it again, soon.

    Pity about the trousers. I thought the goat tasted a bit leathery.

  5. Brianf UNITED STATESon 03 Jan 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Did you get a recording of your interview? I set my alarm so I could listen to it. Set my alarm, I did. When the alarm sounded I promptly jumped out of bed, crushed the clock with my fist, mumbled something about it being too fecking early and went directly back to bed I slept for two more hours. I feel great.

  6. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 2:08 pm

    Brianf - You did the right thing. That is the right way to treat alarm clocks.

    They said they’d send me a copy, sometime. It doesn’t mean I’m going to publish it though! ;)

  7. K8 IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 2:42 pm

    That Radio Kerry’s website is a rather alarming colour. I wonder if the studio is round? heh heh…

  8. tt UNITED STATESon 03 Jan 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Yuk !!!

  9. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 2:56 pm

    TT - Jealous?

  10. JackMcMad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 3:40 pm

    You filthmonger! I’ve just barfed into my top drawer!

  11. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Jack - Is that the drawer you keep your porn in?

  12. tt UNITED STATESon 03 Jan 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Yup !!!

  13. tt UNITED STATESon 03 Jan 2008 at 4:12 pm

    Dont know why, but for some reason the wristwatch amused me; just before I tore my eyes away and threw up.

  14. Grandad IRELANDon 03 Jan 2008 at 4:17 pm

    TT - I had to keep my watch on. The sign of a good guest is one who knows when it’s time to leave.

  15. tt UNITED STATESon 03 Jan 2008 at 6:21 pm

    I thought maybe you were using it as a metronome.

  16. Baino AUSTRALIAon 03 Jan 2008 at 7:10 pm

    I notice your ‘censored’ sign is a little smaller than Red Cardinal’s photo? Is that indicative of the member beneath it? And sorry Grandad, but now you’re a celeb AND on the internet, all hope of privacy is abandoned! Now go and put yer jocks on for goodness sakes, you’ll leave skid marks on the couch!

  17. Grandad IRELANDon 04 Jan 2008 at 12:29 am

    Baino - My censored sign is smaller because Dick’s interfered with the artistic integrity of the overall photograph. I thought you knew about photography?

    And I don’t leave skid marks!!!!!

  18. flirty IRELANDon 04 Jan 2008 at 10:33 am

    Not the best photo to start the day with !

  19. Grandad IRELANDon 04 Jan 2008 at 10:38 am

    G’wan outa that, Flirty. Surely you’ve been to parties like that?

  20. Dick THAILANDon 04 Jan 2008 at 10:42 am

    Well rumours are growing that the video is coming soon.

    I heard they’re calling it ‘One Night On Grandad’.

    Movie deal with Paris coming soon no doubt…

  21. Grandad IRELANDon 04 Jan 2008 at 10:49 am

    Available at all good video stores. [Just ask for the under-the-counter selection]

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