Grandad January 10th, 2008
Yesterday was a bad day.
I have mentioned my neighbours before.
They are rebuilding their house after that unfortunate incident where I used too much petrol when removing a wasps nest from their eaves.
They started months ago, but made too much noise. So I had to shoot them. They were only Eastern Europeans after all.
They had removed all the slates off the roof at that stage and had covered the house in plastic. The survivors then disappeared. Those foreigners are very easily offended.
So, for a long time, the place lay idle, and the plastic blew off in the gales and the house was destroyed, along with the bit they were rebuilding.
A new crowd arrived before Christmas and started cleaning up the mess. They were Irish, so I left them alone. They started work again this week and are making a lot of noise.
I tolerated the noise. I even tolerated the radio that was blaring. But then they started playing Tina Turner. I like Tina Turner’s earlier stuff but her latest just drives me insane.
I went out and told them to shut up. They told me to f*ck off. I shot one in the arse, and he dropped his power hammer into my garden.
Being a nice bloke, I retrieved the hammer for them, and got chatting to the Gaffer while the others were tending to their mate [he didn't half scream - wimp!]. The Gaffer politely told me my water tank was overflowing. I hadn’t realised this, as it’s up on a flat roof and I don’t go up there often unless the neighbouring women are sunbathing, and they don’t do much of that in this weather.
So I had to spend yesterday up to my elbows in freezing water, in a very cold wind on a snowy roof, replacing a washer that I had to make myself because I didn’t have a spare.
Yes.
Yesterday was a bad day.
Subscribe to audio
