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My funniest article

Grandad February 11th, 2008

Today, I was going to write my funniest, most incisive piece to date.

I was in stitches at the thought of what I was going to say.

But I could be bothered.

The sun is shining.  Someone is even cutting their grass.  Spring has apparently sprung.

I think I’ll have a nap instead.

And if anyone wakes me, I’ll fucking kill you…….

12 Responses to “My funniest article”

  1. # popeyemoon UNITED STATESon 11 Feb 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Knock Knock,KNOCK KNOCK,Oh hello I am from the USA and i am lost could you show me how to get BOOM BOOM?

  2. # Sean McGoldrick IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 12:42 pm

    I used to be a door-to-door salesman. There’s nothing like been woken up from a nice mid-day nap to be asked if you’re thinking of changing your facia or soffits. It was the best part of the job in a way.

  3. # Neighbour IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 1:03 pm

    You’re lucky the ESB is holding up the builders next door. Did you give them a call ;-)

  4. # flirty IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 1:29 pm

    You’ve made the short list of an award list - again. Do you mind not being so talented please.

  5. # Grandad IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Popeyemoon - That is the first suicidal comment I have ever seen!

    Sean - Actually I was woken by the man delivering my groceries. I can’t be nasty to him. Some people in this world are important. [Not many though]

    Neighbour - Actually, I canceled the ESB altogether. If they start messing around next door, I get cut off, and I can’t have that. Don’t tell Them Next Door though.
    Incidentally, did you like the way I burned the roof off their house?

    Flirty - Did I? Oh shit!! So I did. Wow. :) [I've only just woken up....]

    Hey!! We’re in competition.. :) And you got two nominations. Congratulations :lol:

  6. # Neighbour IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:02 pm

    The roof was rotten (so is yours), so they were happy to replace it. Seems they have a double order of roofing timber now, as no-one could locate the carpenter that went missing from the job.

    You wouldn’t happen to know where he went?

  7. # robert IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:02 pm

    The sun is shining? Damn. I guess I better open the curtains and get out of bed then.

  8. # Grandad IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:06 pm

    Neighbour - Stop casting nasturtiums at my roof. It’s been there for 200 years. It’s fine.
    Carpenter? Missing? Dear me.. I wonder what happened to him?

    Robert - Don’t bother. It’ll probably snow in a few minutes.

  9. # robert IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Ok, I’ll take your word for it. I’m going back to sleep. Good luck.

  10. # Grannymar UNITED KINGDOMon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:12 pm

    Congrats on shortlisting mate! No sleeping now you have to keep going!

  11. # Karyn Romeis UNITED KINGDOMon 11 Feb 2008 at 2:35 pm

    The sun is indeed shining. Doesn’t life just improve immeasurably when that happens? If I were you, I’d have the deck chair out in the garden in a trice! Sadly, I have work to do :-(

  12. # Grandad IRELANDon 11 Feb 2008 at 4:42 pm

    *yawn*

    Grannymar - See you there……. ;)

    Karyn - I think I’ll wait a degree or two before I lie out, if you don’t mind?

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