Bertie Ahern and mashed potatoes

February 27th, 2008

There are times, [not often, I grant you] when I am almost at a loss for words.

There is an event taking place tomorrow that I frankly find so bizarre that I feel either I am going insane, or else the rest of the world is.

A “performance artist” is being paid to come to Dublin.  This “performance artist” does things that frankly should have him confined to a nice comfortable well padded secure room for his own good.

Mark McGowan claims he is famous because “he once pushed a peanut along the road with his nose for 7 miles”.  Art?  Insanity?  I’ll let you choose.

Anyway, as I say, he is being paid to come to Dublin.  And what is he going to do tomorrow?  Wait for it…..  This is a classic…..

In an extra ordinary art performance, artist Mark McGowan is to dress up as the An Taoiseach Bertie Ahern and crawl on his hands and knees, while attempting to pull an incredible 300 kilos of potatoes (in a large bulk aggregate bag attached to his leg by a piece of string), along the road for an amazing 4 miles, in Dublin, Ireland. The intention is to show the people of Ireland the difficulties and struggles of being the Irish Leader, he has the weight of Ireland along with his own personal problems, such as the Mahon Inquiry to deal with, and this performance is an attempt to show everyone just how hard it is being Bertie Ahern.

What the fuck?

So this little wanker is going to crawl four miles along a road in support of that lying little toe-rag, and he is being paid out of public money?

I am going to do my own bit of “performance art”.

I have hired myself a small lorry.

earthmover

I shall be driving through Dublin tomorrow.

I will let Mark McGowan do a proper impression of Bertie – as a nasty little stain in the gutters of Drumcondra.

Mashed potatoes, anyone?

24 Responses to “Bertie Ahern and mashed potatoes”

  1. Thriftcriminal IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 11:29 am

    I call shotgun!

  2. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 11:43 am

    All yours, Thrifty!

  3. Neighbour IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 12:17 pm

    A more accurate impression might involve tossing said bag-o-spuds into the A pond at Ringsend Treatment Works, ensuring the piece of string was just long enough to allow the nostrils of the attached ‘artist’ to surface?

  4. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Nah! That would pollute the A pond. We can’t have that.

  5. Cranky Canuck IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Dammit! I wanted shotgun… fine, I will be the one WITH the shotgun.

  6. Cranky Canuck IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:08 pm

    I forgot to mention. “Performance Art Is Just Another Word For Bad Theatre” ~Cranky

  7. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Cranky – You can have the RPG launcher?

    Performance art is a load of crap that gullible people pay good money for. Except of course for the Diceman.

  8. Ian IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:24 pm

    It has a very Bunyanesque feel about it

    All you need to do is to caption the picture “Bertie’s burden of sin”

  9. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:31 pm

    Ian – If I were to picture Berties burden of sin, it would be more on the lines of Atlas?

  10. John B UNITED KINGDOMon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:41 pm

    I think they got wind of your mash up Grandad.
    http://potatoesforbertieahern.blogspot.com/

  11. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Yay!!

    Another victory for Grandad.

    Bloody chicken!!

  12. Olga, the Traveling Bra UNITED STATESon 27 Feb 2008 at 5:26 pm

    Forgive me for not understanding the who’s & what’s here (I am merely a dumb American bra for heavensake) BUT still, Grandad, you make me LAUGH! Great imagery & post! Tee-hee!

  13. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 6:02 pm

    Thanks Olga :)

    There is really only one ‘who’ and that is our beloved leader Bertie. He is a crook of the highest order who has been dipping his hand in the till and is up in front of a tribunal at the moment. So far they have discovered half a million Euros and that he hasn’t paid any tax in years. He also awarded himself a pay rise of €38,000 [that is just the increase!!!], making him the highest paid leader in the western world. He is paying himself more than your beloved Dubya! And yet the fecker is still in power?????!!!!!

  14. George W. Bush UNITED STATESon 27 Feb 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Aw, leave poor Bertie alone. He has so many people down on him right now I think he just needs some moral support.
    I’m fairly sure I read somewhere that he’s serving as Taoiseach for the rest of his life.
    I also understand that some of you feel a gallows is well made enough to be of good support!

  15. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Hiya, Dubya! He thinks he’s there for life and so do you. It’s just that you are both going to have very short ones.

    While I’m on to you – get your fucking planes out of Shannon. You’re not wanted. You may fool Americans, but you don’t fool us.

  16. George W. Bush UNITED STATESon 27 Feb 2008 at 7:22 pm

    Bertie said we can be there. So nah, nah, nah, nah nah.

  17. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 7:25 pm

    No he didn’t. He told us you said you weren’t there…

    The little knacker is lying again, isn’t he?

  18. George W. Bush UNITED STATESon 27 Feb 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Oh! Right! We’re not!
    Nevermind that man behind the curtain and anyways I thought that Harney lady was suppose to stand in front of Shannon airport when we’re…ummm….ahhh….when we’re not there.

  19. Baino AUSTRALIAon 27 Feb 2008 at 8:10 pm

    Absolutely ridiculous . . at least he was going to use Irish potatoes!

  20. Thriftcriminal IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 8:15 pm

    No more shotgun :-(

  21. Curly K IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 11:08 pm

    Fuck me this country has gone so far up it’s own arse it’s unbelievable – performance art my hole – complete waste of money. To be fair I’m all for the arts even performance arts but this is just taking the piss. Granddad the sooner you mash the better!

  22. OneForTheRoad IRELANDon 27 Feb 2008 at 11:46 pm

    Just read yer mans website.

    He’s an absoultely pointless cunt. Fair play to Ballymun. And seeing as his phone number is on his website, I shall call him every hour to tell him this.

  23. Grandad IRELANDon 28 Feb 2008 at 12:20 am

    Dubya – Good tactic with Harney. You could land the entire USAF and we wouldn’t see it around her. Do you want to buy her as an aircraft carrier?

    Baino – He was also going to use Irish money!!

    Thrifty – Sorry about that, but there is no fun in shooting chickens.

    Curly K – If performance art is eating corgis on live radio, then I think you can have it. Yer Man is a waste of space.

    OFTR – Too late. His line will always be engaged. I’ve programmed computer to phone him every time he hangs up.

  24. K8 IRELANDon 28 Feb 2008 at 9:39 am

    Or?

    (heh heh heh heh heh…)

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