Grandad shuns the Irish Blog Awards
Grandad February 29th, 2008
I’m not going to the Irish Blog Awards.
I know I said I’d go, and I even wrote to that Mulley bloke and said I would. But I have better things to do.
I’ll be sending that other fella.
He’s a boring old shite. He’s half deaf and totally humourless, and he doesn’t even drink much.
He is a lousy social mixer and will probably try to hide in the corner somewhere. He’ll have Herself and K8 the GR8 with him so at least he’ll have someone to talk to. Until they get bored with him and bugger off to someone who can hold a conversation.
The only things I can say in his favour are that he looks a bit like me, and he does smoke a pipe. Apart from that, he’s a crashing bore. He is so dull, he doesn’t have a name. If you’re at the awards and see him, call him Grandad anyway. He’ll like that. It will give him an undeserved feeling of being someone.
The only other thing I can say in his favour is that he does all my typing for me.
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well done Sandy, I see your typing is improving
A family affair Grandad, I hope all three of you have a great time.
Sorry to hear I’ll be missing meeting you in person, ah well we’ll always have Capital D
George - Sandy is fast asleep on my bed. She is much too sensible to get up on a day like this.
Nonny - Yup. Herself, K8 and the Other Fella. I’d go myself, but I don’t like cities. I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves if they can behave…..
Red Mum - Just talk to the Other Fella. He’ll pass on any messages.
Join the club, Grandad - I know the feeling!
I’m looking forward to meeting the other fella anyhow
Steph - I’m sure he’s looking forward to meeting you too. Just be careful of/with him. He tries to be me, but he has a rotten sense of humour.
Thanks for the warning. We may need Grannymar to keep the peace.
So I’m confused. Are you going or not?
73 - There will be a gobshite there who looks a bit like me. He thinks he’s me [poor deluded bastard], and tries to act like me. He claims he’s my alter-ego. He is going with my blessing though, so treat him as if he were me.
Yes, some of us are less funny or interesting in person than we are in writing. (Actually, I’m not funny in either case, but . . .) That alter ego idea seems like a great one! I think I’ll try it at the next local awards dinner. Now if I can only find someone better looking and more vivacious to take my place.
Marlys - The Other Fella is extremely dull. Where I am the life and soul of the party, he hides in a corner and has to be prised out. It’s strange as we are so alike in so many ways. It’s just that he’s boring, and I’m not.
Grandad is afraid to meet Me!!!!! Sandy in drag will do me fine thanks!
Of course, what with the smoking ban, the pipe won’t be much in evidence…
(I used to quite like pipe smoke, though I don’t think I’d smoke one myself; it’d look absurd.)
Grannymar - I’m too old for you anyway. I’d love to go, but I have more important things to do like annoying neighbours and hunting. You’ll meet the Other Fella. He’s nearly as good.
Grandad, I’m not going either. What time and where should we meet for dinner and a pint?
Grandad,
It’s a good thing the other fella is going. Think of the litigation bills if they let you speak at something like that!
Robert - I’d say the pipe will be in evidence all right. It’s the only thing he’s good at. He’ll teach you how.
Brianf - You name the place… I’ll be there.
Ian - True enough. That’s supposing there is speaking to be done!
I feel so remote.
Maybe Brianf and I should hook up and drown our sorrows, there again……….
TT - Damnit!!! Where are you? I was looking for you last night to switch television channels. You’re usually down the back of the sofa.
I am usually down the back of the sofa at the local Irish pub. By the way do you know how big a party St Pat’s is over here. The said pub fences off the parking lot, (paid) cops at the entrances, bars,bands and toilets inside and out. St Baldrick’s Charity head shaving, Irish dancers,etc. It’s easily the biggest “do” of the year.
TT - Why do you lot have to make such a lot of noise about everything? We just go for a quiet pint [or thirty] and that’s it….
I don’t know about your region but I have drank in pubs in Ireland that were anything but quiet. Although that was quite some time ago.
TT,
Saint Baldrick? He is quintessentially English!
Pubs here are much quieter than they were - whole lot of factors: smoking ban, drink driving laws, prices, breakdown of community life, very long working hours, huge commuting times, changing leisure patterns, multichannel TV, and a whole lot more things (including corresponding with Grandad!).
Even in the middle of Temple Bar on a Sunday evening three weeks ago, it was possible for five of us to walk in and find a table a few steps from the bar.
TT - Where I live, we have our traditional parade [we sit Aggie on a donkey and walk her around the village], and then go for a few pints. No fuss. No hooha.
Ian - I didn’t think you were one of those drunken louts who hang around Temple Bar at night? You have hidden depths…..
Grandad,
I was three times the age of some of the people in the pub, but I had a very legitimate reason for being in Temple Bar - I was going to see Nazareth
Ian - Yeah. Roish. I believe you.
Nazareth were playing in Temple Bar!
http://www.nazarethdirect.co.uk/
I still have the ticket stub somewhere
Grandad, sorry to have missed you at the awards last night. You will however be glad to know that the half deaf, anti-social “boring old shite” was there, and was friendly, welcoming, funny and personable. Couldn’t find a badge to save his life though!
Congratulations on the award - very well deserved - and hope you/him and the family had a great night! Meeting you was a genuine pleasure!