5,200 White Mice
Grandad March 3rd, 2008
For some reason, I happened to be listening to Rick O’Sea on the radio just now.
He want’s to know why the Kremlin has apparently advertised for 5,200 white mice.
They must be laboratory reared, white, female and less than 18 gms.
I would have thought the answer was fucking obvious.
They are upgrading their computer system.
Why laboratory reared? They don’t want viruses.
Why less than 18gms? They don’t want to push big heavy yokes around their desks.
Why white? Well, grey is soooo naff, darling.
Why female? Because computer mice with balls are so last year.
- Rambles
- Comments(0)
Subscribe to audio
[...] http://www.headrambles.com/2008/03/03/5200-white-mice/ [...]
It’s even more advanced than that. The mice are being trained to operate computers for the bigwigs who’ve moved beyond menial work like tapping keys and squinting at screens. They’ll just tell the mice what to do and they run around the keyboard getting it done. The project’s top secret of course to avoid Microsoft pinching the idea.
Possible right-click options?
> Eat Cheese
> Drink Water
> Electrocute
> Infect With Anthrax
———————
> Cut
> Clone
> Paste
———————
> Send to > Maze
>>>>>>>>>>> Exercise Wheel
>>>>>>>>>> > Chechnya (Infected Mice Only)
I see what you did there…
Surely by “white” they mean pre-revolution Russian aristocratic mice?
Am sure you listen to Rick every day
Nick – I am currently trying to train my mouse to type, but the bugger just sits there shining a red light out its arse. How to I get it to move?
H – That’s more like it. I’m going to do some re-programming on my PC today to see if I can get any of those to work.
OFTR – What did I do where? You watching me?
Thrifty – They have to be new-born, which poses problems. Unless they are going to infuse them with the souls of of the tzars?
Flirty – I listen to him every day. Nine to five on Lyric FM. Unmissable.