Dogsitting
Grandad March 23rd, 2008
Wouldye? Woodya? Wooja? I don’t know how to spell the fecker’s name.
We’re ‘babysitting’ That Dog at the moment.
He is half a ton of brainlessness. He is a twit, a moron, a Homer Simpson. He is also immensely powerful.
When he is in the garden, he plays with rocks. Our lawn is decorated with boulders. He could outclass a JCB. I think one of his ancestors built Newgrange or Stonehenge.
When he is indoors, he isn’t allowed rocks, so he plays with bits of paper or old leaves instead.
He’ll stand and look at a bit of paper for ages. Eventually, he will pick it up and spit it on my lap. I am supposed to throw an old leaf?
I got really tired of him yesterday. I had to demolish a wall he had built in the garden.
I sent him out to play on the road.
The inevitable happened - A racing SUV; the sound of screeching tyres; the crash.
Half an hour later, That Dog came wandering up the lane quietly chewing the side panel off a Discovery.
I went out to have a look. He had destroyed the car. It was covered in toothmarks and slobber. He had chewed it completely out of shape.
I like That Dog.
But I’ll have to think of a new name.
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Maybe you could send him next door to play with the builders. Lots of stuff for him to chew and demolish over there. Who knows, you may acquire a nail gun or something equally useful in the process.
Ah, that explains all the potholes in the roads. That Wouldye has been having a great time throwing lots of rocks around. And hopefully the chewed up Discovery belonged to a tourist….
Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
S Mum - The builders are away for Easter. He’s not very fond of conrete. He prefers his food raw - A chunk of granite with a light sprinkling of limestone.
Nick - Who cares who was driving the SUV? It was an SUV after all!!
Paddy - You can’t teach this fella anything. He’s thick.
75% of all the original landrovers are still in service. They were proper vehicles. The new ones deserve nothing better than to be a chew toy, playthings of the sort of ponce who was organising meetings down your way. Go Wouldya!
Don’t be so hard on yourself Grandad!
Thrifty - You have a point there. I think I’ll let him loose in the village later…
Paddy -
You’re asking for detention again.
love the pic, looks like he’s saying ‘ no paparazzi please ‘
“He prefers his food raw”
Jeez! Grandad
I hope Wouldya didn’t run away with that ‘leg’ of yours!
HAPPY EASTER!
and thanks for all the brilliant entertainment at Head Rambles.
You are a legend
Ashley - I robbed the photo from K8’s site, as you’ll see from the link. He’s lying on the couch opposite me at the moment and is snoring his head off.
Steph - Happy Easter to you too [and to everyone..]. He wouldn’t dare. Sandy would have him!
Snap! I have a useless retrieving dog. . .brilliant with rocks sticks leaves bark pizza delivery men but will it fetch the mail or my slippers . . hell no!
Please post photos of havoc created in village after letting him loose! Perhaps you could send photos of the all-new-mangled-by-a-delinquent-hound-Discovery to it’s makers & ask them if they would like to a) redesign the vehicle & b) pay for the obvious trauma the dog has suffered thanks to their SUV
Baino - He is now trying hard to bury a double decker bus in our garden. It’s not doing the lawn much good
Jayne - I must bring the camera next time. Usually though when I try these things, there is so much chaos that I forget to photograph.
Jayne - I heard Wouldye is already suing the car manufacturer for damages after he cut himself badly on the mangled side panel. Sue Grabbit and Runne are reckoning on a million euro plus costs.
A dog that can take on a bloody SUV and win - brilliant!
Go Wouldye! He’s my kind of dog. Bert won’t retrieve a bloody thing (except sheep, hares or anything remotely fluffy). I’d like one that could build a wall, though - useful.
Betty - Yes. He has his good points.
E Mum - He may be able to chew an SUV, but can he play tennis, drive a car or read Pride and Prejudice like our Sandy? Nah! I’ll take her any day.