Hypocritic Oath
Grandad March 26th, 2008
I went to the doctor this morning.
There’s nothing wrong with me, but at my age it pays to stay well in with the medical gang.
"How are you feeling," he asked.
"Fine," says I.
"Sleeping well?"
"Never better."
"Are you drinking much these days?"
"Ah! You know how it is?"
"I do indeed. Are you still smoking the pipe?"
"Of course."
"How much do you smoke?"
"About the same as I always did. No more. No less."
"Ah!"
"Jayzus! You’re not going to start any of this crap about giving up are you?"
"No. But…….."
"But what? Spit it out man."
"I left my matches in the car. Would you have a light?"
- Health
- Comments(9)
Doctor’s just love their drugs!
It’s embarrassing to have to ask!
One evening last week, there were no matches in the vestry to light the candles for the Holy week service - I had to go down the church and ask if anyone had a cigarette lighter. Two ardent smokers looked at me and said did I really think that they would smoke in church? Finally, there was a lady who said she kept an emergency lighter in the glove pocket of her car.
Neighbour - Actually, he was a bit annoyed with me. I forgot to bring his supply.
Ian - Ardent smokers and they didn’t have matches? Though I admit, I always carry a spare lighter [and a rag for stuffing in petrol tank filler pipes].
Grandad you could have charged him for it at the same rate as he does!
Strange sterilisation methods being used by the doctors in your part of the country …. why doesn’t he wash his hands like the rest of us? He trying to user a posher method?
Is this a new HSE directive?
Burn the MRSA to death? And you mean you are complicit in all this? You encouraged him? Shame …. shame … shame … Grandad leave those matches alone …. stop fanning the flames of contoversy … what next? Will you bring shame on Poor Mary Harney and her flock?
Try the new ‘BIC safety lighter’ …… it’s less controversial.
Hmm…This doc sounds a lot like my own. He tells me not to eat greasy, artery clogging food, yet I catch him at the local greasy spoon all the time.
Paddy - Nothing to do with hygiene. It is well known that I grow the best stuff for miles around, and he couldn’t wait.
JD - Maybe he is there handing out leaflets?
Ah, and it’s nice to know that tradition is being kept good and proper it is.
Good on ya’, Grandad.
Kirk M - I’m a sentimental old fool. And the old ways are the best.