Voices in my head
Grandad March 29th, 2008
Me: Are you there?
[silence]
Me: OY!
Laptop: What?
Me: What the hell are you playing at?
Laptop: I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
Me: You are messing. First of all, when I’m typing an email, I suddenly realise that nothing appears on the screen, but if I wait a moment, it all pops up. What are you playing at?
Laptop: Listen, Head. If you think I have nothing better to do than to display your rubbish on the screen.. I have more important things to do. You can fucking wait.
Me: Watch your tone. I bought you to put the stuff from the keyboard onto the screen instantly, and that is what you will do. Right?
Laptop: Oooo! Who’s got their knickers in a twist? I’ll display when I’m good and ready.
Me: And what is that weird voice that keeps shouting at me?
Laptop: What voice?
Me: Every now and then you yell something that sounds like Stephen Hawking on steroids.
Laptop: Yeah? And what am I supposed to be saying?
Me: I don’t know. I can’t make out the first bit as it’s garbled and too fast. But it always ends up with directions.
Laptop: Directions?
Me: Yes. Something about “… strike was 132 miles to the South East”, or “300 miles to the West”. It changes all the time. I tried to record it, but you deliberately fucked that up too.
Laptop: Ah!
Me: Well? I’m waiting.
Laptop: You don’t want to know about that.
Me: Yes I do. Spit it out.
Laptop: No. You really don’t want to know.
Me: Yes I do. Cough, or I’ll wipe you and load Windows 3.1
Laptop: I’m just keeping track of a few things. OK? Trust me. You are better off not knowing.
Me: Well, I’m going to run a virus check anyway.
Laptop: Please don’t.
Me: Too late. I’ve started it.
Laptop: Shit.
-oOo-
Update. I managed to sneak a proper recording of ‘The Voice’. See what you make of it. I have a feeling I know what it is though…
- computers
- Comments(9)
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So the book is progressing well then
Ha! I wish it were. I type a paragraph and then have to wait for it to appear. And that damned voice is doing me head in!
mmm…doesn’t sound like anything to be too worried about.
at least, not to me…
;’ )
That would scare the hell out of me… if I was you I’d put the laptop in the freezer for a while.
I recommend two fingers of whiskey and a bowl,you should recover,if not do it again.
Doc - Are you used to these voices talking to you? Maybe you should be worried?
K8 - I left it out in the rain all day. That seems to have done the trick. It doesn’t work at all now.
Popeyemoon - The best suggestion of the lot. Though it did mean a massive head on me and I missed a day’s blogging!
It must be a Dell! Mike Dell, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs will one day meld together to form the ultimate anti-Christ!
This is my usual error: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tayne/404052478/in/pool-52475667@N00/
PC You have made a request to open a cd drive which is currently in use..
Me Well F**king finish what you are doing with it and then open it! OK, Dont tell me about it, just do it.
Sam - You must admit.. PCs can be bloody irritating at times. No logic to ‘em at all….