The Wages of Sin
Grandad April 2nd, 2008
If I were to avoid tax, I would be heavily penalised.
If I were to commit perjury I would probably face a term in prison.
But I’m not Bertie.
Let’s see what his penalties are going to be…….
[These calculations may be slightly wrong, but I don't think so]
First of all, he gets a little golden handshake of one and a half times a TD’s salary – €131,000
A lifetime pension of €128,782 per annum, index linked. This is 60% of his new salary of €214,637.
In addition he gets €47,680 per annum, index linked. This is half a TD’s salary of €95,363.
So the reward Bertie gets for perjury and tax avoidance?
A Golden Handshake of €308,000, and €176,500 a year after that.
Not bad, huh?
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I have to come clean, Grandad.
I cut him in for 10% on the oul’ fridge magnet sales, too. That’s probably another hundred grand a year or so…
Howya Pecker! You’ll do a bomb on those magnets now? But you’ll also have to run a new batch….
But it’s worth it isn’t it, just to get him out.I hate to think what further benefits dubya is going to set up before he goes.
May 6th. Have you marked you calendar?
Cheers Grandad. I have the sales team working around the clock…
Zzzzzzz
What are we going to do now? 2008 is looking like a bad year. Bertie has announced that he will be gone in May and dubya will be gone by this time next year!
The Mad Cow is still hanging in there, though she may be out with a reshuffle. Then we’d just be left with slagging the Greens and the PD.
Why, is the New Sheriff above reproach or something?
Aargh! How did I forget about the greens? There is always Michael Martin too.
Pecker – We don’t know who the new Fuhrer is yet. Are you going to apply?
Robert – Willie O’Dea?
Oddly I’m not too bothered about Willie O’Dea. As minister for defence he actually hasn’t been all that bad.
Kebab Lenihan now on the other hand.
I dunno. Do you reckon it’ll actually go to an election? Brian Lenihan has already effectively discounted himself and installed himself as Cowen’s deputy.
Mind you, I’d better put Louis C. on standby, in case a new suit is called for at short notice.
I think this may be a good time for a wee little coup? Anyone up for it?
Mine’s a coup of coffee Grandad
Well well, woke up to the news this morning! You lot must be over the moon. Poor Grandad, you’ll be scraping for material if Mary goes as well! So what happens now, if that was Oz, the deputy would step in and an election wouldn’t be called until the term was up! The only opportunity to oust the Deputy PM would be an internal leadership dispute. That’s why John Howard was voted out, nobody wanted to risk him resigning and the Deputy Prime Monster step in.
what i want to know is what you had on bertie to get him to stand down, son.
I can only imagine what plank is next in line.
This one’s for you Bertie!
http://www.shitetalker.com/2008/04/i-will-resign/
Bravo H! Encore!
Thank you robert, thank you.
The single will be available to download next week.
Baino – I very much doubt there will be an election. Biffo Cowan will install himself as Taoiseach. There will be a vote of no confidence from Labour and Fine Gael, which will be totally ignored and we’ll carry on with the same old shower.
Doc – A little matter of the Cayman Island Accounts?
H – Now there’s an idea… The Plank for Taoiseach? He’d have to take a hell of a cut in salary though.
He would be perfect wouldn’t he?
He’s used to wearing make up, he got a questionable dress sense and he’s already in the courts over something that’s not rightfully his. Infacta, if he could just work on his stuttering, no-one would even notice the difference.