though your follow-through is perfect [stomach pointed toward the 'flag', wrists turned over, eye on the 'ball'], it is perfectly obvious you used a long-iron for that stroke.

now, i’m not normally one for the new hybrids – one can either play the game or not- but as you’re my adopted son and -excuse me here- getting on in age, i would advise that from now on every time you rid Ireland of an American tourist, you check to see if they have their sticks in the boot. If so, look for either a 9-wood or a Rescue Utility club.

With either of these you will be able to slow down your swing (which i suspect is far to quick any way) and hit the ‘ball’ straighter.

give it a try – there’s a money back guarantee!

E Mum – Mr Whippys are no good. It takes too long for them to bake, and I usually end up having to put them in the microwave.

Sixty – Very little.

The squirrel was indeed grey but I spelled it gray in my comment due to the simple fact that my spell checker is based on an American (bastardized) English dictionary and not a British one. So it was a good deal all around.

I’d love a game. Next time I’m in Ireland I’ll look you up.

Paddy – So do I. But the chute gets clogged the odd time, and it’s not nice plunging your arm in and coming out with a fist full of grass and minced dog crap.