What do women get up to?

Grandad April 30th, 2008

I was sitting here this morning minding my own business.

Herself came in.

"Would you ever nip down to the village, post these things and collect a woman?"

"A woman?" says I.

"Yes. Are you daft? You know what a woman is?  Long hair and glasses."

I am not the type to argue and I gave up asking questions decades ago.  It’s not worth the hassle.

I went and posted the yokes she gave me and then hung around the village until I saw a woman with long hair and glasses.

I bundled her into the car.  She seemed a bit surprised, but I’m going to use the Nuremberg Defence if it comes to trial.

I drove home and gave the woman to Herself.  Herself was delighted.

I’m hiding in my den now.  I don’t know what they are up to, and I don’t want to know.  Maybe herself has gone back to her medical experiments?  Maybe she just felt like a woman to woman chat?  There is a lot of crashing and banging going on out there, but I’m staying where I am.  I have Sandy with me for security.

There are times when a man knows when to keep his head down.

17 Responses to “What do women get up to?”

  1. Paul UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Don’t most guys dream of having their partners (politically correct) ask for another woman to be brought home ???

  2. Paul UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 1:01 pm

    Hey cool, I got the first comment :-)

  3. Grandad IRELANDon 30 Apr 2008 at 1:10 pm

    Paul - Do they? It depends on what the other woman is brought home for? As I said - I didn’t dare ask.

    Actually, you got the first two comments. But I got the third…..

  4. robert IRELANDon 30 Apr 2008 at 1:25 pm

    I learned some time ago that we (men) are much better off not knowing what women are up to.

    I remember my father telling me a few years ago:
    “Son, never try to understand a woman.”

    Best piece of advice I ever got.

  5. Longman Oz IRELANDon 30 Apr 2008 at 1:51 pm

    You know what a woman is? Long hair and glasses.

    Always knew there was something not quite right with that John Lennon fella. Thanks for clarifying!

  6. Brianf UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Sixth. Woo hoo! A top ten finish.

  7. popeyemoon UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Crawl out the window and run like hell,This will give you a chance to live.

  8. Grandad IRELANDon 30 Apr 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Robert - Very very sound advice.

    Longman Oz - I hadn’t thought of that. Food for thought?? You could be right.

    Brianf - You are weird.

    Popeyemoon - Somehow, I feel safer with a locked door, a shotgun and a guard dog.

  9. Jefferson Davis UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Perhaps they are plotting how to take down more terrourist? Then again, they could be plotting the opposite!

    I asked my great Uncle one time to give me tips about women. He said, “Boy, I’m 93 years old, and I’m still learning…good luck”. I just roll with the punches, plates, or whatever is coming my way. :)

  10. popeyemoon UNITED STATESon 30 Apr 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Like i said run like hell,or live in your room.Do take ,Sandy and your shotgun.Give it a few day’s till they worried about you,and say I had a few pints and went hunting tourist.

  11. Baino AUSTRALIAon 30 Apr 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Downunder our indigenous people have a great tradition which translates; “Secret Women’s Business” . . .the men are not allowed to know what goes on. Perfect!

  12. Paddy Bloggit IRELANDon 01 May 2008 at 12:19 am

    That’s why I’m single ….. with two dogs for company.

    The only way I could ever understand a female was from a distance …. the closer I got to a female (especially one I liked) the more of a blubbering idiot I became. Easier to give up the ghost with chasing women than to endure the ignominy of remaining a babbling idiot.

    These day I do my babbling online.

  13. Grandad IRELANDon 01 May 2008 at 12:24 am

    JD - I tend to duck for the plates and roll with the punches. I just chance to luck with the frying pan.

    Popeye - Herself might get worried but I doubt the woman would. She had never met me before.

    Baino - How can you have “Secret Women’s Business” between total strangers? I just picked her off the street. She could have been [and actually was] anybody.

  14. Grandad IRELANDon 01 May 2008 at 12:27 am

    Paddy - Stick with the dogs. They’re much better, though there are some things they aren’t good for, unless you are into besti…. No. I won’t go down that road.

    If you are worried about being a blubbering idiot in front of women, try chloroform or a Tazer. It works for me.

  15. medstudentwife CANADAon 01 May 2008 at 2:37 am

    Okay - I’m lost ?? !!!

    hmmm…maybe I’m intruding in a conversation I shouldn’t even be near…

    sorry…

    I’m going to the back of the room…

    out of the building…

    I wasn’t even here…

  16. Grandad IRELANDon 01 May 2008 at 10:51 am

    Medstudentwife - You can come back in again now…

  17. Paddy Bloggit IRELANDon 01 May 2008 at 10:52 pm

    I have a dazzer ….. it’s for dogs …… any good on women?

    N.B.
    Not into the ‘whole’ beastiality scene ….. I could never slot in! :mrgreen:

    Disclaimer:
    Paddy Bloggit is straight, not twisted …. ….. years of using the iron to get the wrinkles out has ensured that Paddy is as straight as a die!

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