Evil Austrians
Grandad May 8th, 2008
I accidentally went into my spam mail yesterday.
I was about to click out of it again, but one mail caught my eye. I’m not sure why.
“Get a totally wicked wiener”
What the hell does that mean?
I know what ‘totally’ is supposed to mean. It’s that word that is totally overused and is so totally ignorant sounding in any context nowadays. I presume it crept into modern parlance through one of those ghastly American comedies like ‘Friends’ or ‘Sex in the city’, so everyone pronounces it as ‘todally’. It has become as ubiquitous as ‘like’ [or 'loike'] and has to be scattered like thistledown through every damned sentence these days. This just makes me want to smash the speakers teeth back through their tonsils.
‘Wicked’ means evil or bad. We all know that.
But what the hell is a ‘wiener’? I had to look that one up.
Apparently it is either a hot-dog or a German word for a Viennese.
I presume these people aren’t trying to sell me hot-dogs through the Interweb, so it can only be a Viennese.
Why, in the name of all that is holy, does someone want me to have an evil person from Vienna? Is this some new European law that we all have to adopt a criminal from another country? Is it some new fashion statement like a replica Rolex watch? Is this the new ‘must have’ [another horrendous contemporary cliche!]?
I did send off for the ‘fantastic larger rod’ though.
I believe fishing is a very relaxing pastime.
- spam
- Comments(28)
Maybe they’re trying to sell bad-tempered dachshund puppies?
Daffy - That thought did cross my mind. But why? I already have a collie. I don’t want a dog that looks like a draught-excluder.
No, it’s definitely hot dogs, but just the sausage bit, not the bun it comes in.
Don’t be taken in!
Being evil, it will no doubt make you very ill, and then they’ll be trying to sell you all sorts of medication to which you will become addicted and then mwahahaha… you’re in their dastardly clutches for good!
Ha, I wrote my column on this recently as the Young Wan pronounces tutor, as in class tutor as tu-door and it drives me barmy! Down with that sort of thing.
Spam, you gotta love it.
I’m constantly getting mail entitled: “Woman has great time with horse.” I’ve no interest in show jumping myself, but every one has to have a hobby.
Maxi Can Maybe the woman wasn’t showjumping. Maybe she was having an intelligent and erudite conversation with a horse of different colour!
Maybe, Karyn.
Doesn’t explain why they’d want me to know about it though.
I’m pretty sure that the use of ‘totally’ goes back well before ‘Friends’. It was in the 80’s that the Valley Girl fad was popular and it was, ‘like, totally tubular’
So dude, like, what’s the word yo, with the unwanted readallot yo?
and here’s another thing, whats with this new trend of people putting X at the end of all their text messages? whats that all about? for the love of god!
johnie XX ??
Nice one Karyn!
Brianf - You are probably right, but it seems to be a post Friends era thing here. It is a pain in the arse.
Johnie - I have no idea. Is it a kiss? Grandad XX
A kiss? I don’t think so! My teacher put those Xes all over my work as a kid, and she didn’t like me very much, so I don’t think it could be that.
My 1982 Casio fx 900 has just fallen to bits.Anyone got one they don’t want ?
Maybe you could invite them over to meet you to explain it all and then shoot them as they will be tourists by that stage?
I’ve just come across your blog and would like to say “thanks” you’re a breath of fresh air and the best thing is that I don’t think you realise how funny you are.
The other day I got an email titled; “Now you can set your wife on fire!” YIKES! I don’t even have a wife!!!
Totally is as nothing in my list of pet peeves compared with “absolutely.” Watch the news or a political show on TV. Nobody answers a question with “yes’ anymore. It is always ‘absolutely.” Pisses me off. Absolutely. Well Sandra there you are on the steps of the Capitol this morning waiting to interview Senator Blah, tell me did you have a shit this morning? ABSOLUTELY, I did Mary.
Karyn - Buried treasure?
TT - This isn’t a flea market. Go away.
Shane - Good thinking! I might try that.
Shoo - Aw! Thanks. Welcome to the world of the insane.
Olga - Burning bras? I don’t need instructions on how to strike a match as Herself will testify.
TT - Don’t start me on that road. “Now, I’m glad you asked me that”. “This is an historic occasion” and so on…………
Other words/phrases that should be banned:
‘The truth is’ - it rarely is the truth
‘ The facts of the matter are’ - depends on where you stand (lies, damned lies etc)
‘The reality of the situation is’ - whose reality? Not mine (you wouldn’t like my reality!)
Shane - I think you’ll find, on mature reflection, that I said “DON’T START ME ON THAT”. I’m forever heaving bricks at those inane sports commentators on RTE who seem to have a vast catalogue of cliches.
oops!
Shane - Now there’s an answer that should be used more often…
Reporter: “Tell me, Taoiseach. How is the economy doing?”
Biffo: “Oops!”
Shouldn’t that be “weiner”?
Spammers all have bad spelling: therefore, I believe them to be the linguistic versions of tourists.
Shannon B - According to Webster’s Dictionary, the correct spelling is ‘wiener’ though either is acceptable. There seems to be little consensus as to its meaning though. It is also veal, apparently?
You know those little franks they put in Baked beans ? Wieners. Hence the derogatory use of the word when referenced to a penis.
tt Fortunately no such references have been made anywhere related to this post!
Stop playing with your rod Grandad and eat your weiner!
It’ll go cold if you don’t!
TT - Quite frankly, I’m shocked.
How dare you introduce smut like that! You deserve a good spanking from Karyn.
Paddy - What will go cold? My rod, or my wiener?
Oh my what a laugh….good wit!!
Good luck fishing!