A word to the wise
Grandad May 23rd, 2008
I have been trawling my figures again.
Since this site started, I have had 271,381 page views.
I have written 251,656 words, not including this page.
Do you realise what that means?
Each visitor had only read one word. Or if you want to be really pedantic - 1.07838 words each.
I don’t know how you read .07838 of a word, but that is beside the point.
Now this really pisses me off. I have sweated over the last nineteen months, pouring my heart out and spending sleepless nights worrying over syntax and spelling, and you bastards only read one word.
This has got to stop. I would beg you to at least read two words, as the meaning of the writing may be lost otherwise.
The other thing that worries me, is which word is it that people are reading? If they pick the wrong word they could get entirely the wrong impression. If the word they choose is ‘fuck’, they could get the wrong impression altogether. That is a word that has to be taken in context. If they take the word ‘me’ they could assume that this is the work of a narcissistic egotistical bastard who can only talk about myself. On the other hand, they may choose the word ‘you’ in which case they assume that it’s about anything but me.
Now if any of you claim that you read more than one word, I won’t believe you. Because, if you read more than one word, then statistically others aren’t reading any at all, which is silly.
So do us both a favour.
Read at least two words.
Otherwise I won’t bother writing any more….
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I managed to read “trawling”, then I decided I’m not interested in blogs by sea-faring folk with their funny sailor ways so I stopped reading. Tomorrow, word two….
I read “wise”, but it sounded a bit philosophical, so I’ll try another one tomorrow.
I read two words and I’m highly offended!
Does this mean I am reading more than my quota of words?
I haven’t read any words. I just take in the general vibe of the place.
I like to pick random letters from your posts and make my own words. Is that OK? Some of them ARE rude.
271,381 pages.
251,656 words
Duh! You obviously aren’t putting words on every page.
Actually, it’s one reader ………… with learning difficulties.
I only read the comments
I just use the key logger, I had someone put on your computer.
Harney.
Harney.
What if the two words are the first and third of those that you suggest? They might never come back!
Mind you, if they opt for the first and second, they might have you booked for soliciting!
For myself, I choose “pedantic” and “syntax” and feel right at home.
I will do my best to read three words. I hope others will follow my altruism. I will read: God Bless America.
*sigh*
I think I’m onto a lost cause here.
Word?
Grandad, Are you sure it’s not a lost ‘clause’?
A lost Clause ? You sleigh me.
I couldn’t resist another word, they’re so tempting. It turned out to be “statistically”. Five whole fattening syllables! Now I’ve got chronic indigestion, I’ll have to take one of my pills.
Ha! I read at least three today! “Read at least.” Does “At” count?
I am finally out of the bogs and headed to ye ol’ Scotland, the land of Haggis.
But, I will not tell you where for fear of you coming after me! Ah, don’t worry though. I’ll be back in a few days, but should I say when or where? 
I’ve been mucking about Donaghadee, County Down today with a certain toy girl.
0.Gra
Ach, what’s the odd 20,000 words in the grand scheme of things. Or 2,000 words or 250,000 words? Aren’t you chuffed that so many folks are dropping by to say hello
Word up! Lies and damn statistics
@ Baino I agree! Gran Dad we are numbers, but you can count on us to read more than two words.
I’m just looking at the pictures.
Well, the word I read was “of” and on the whole I agreed with it, so I’ve kept coming back because in these shouty times it’s not often you find someone you can agree with ’bout stuff like that.
For a crowd who only reads one word at a time, you have a lot to say.
@Grandad Well, for a man who talks a fierce amount of shite, you keep us all very entertained.
Darren - I am deeply moved by your words.
@darren entertained laughing at or with in which case it maybe a insult or a compliment…
sometimes i laugh at what other people say about your posts grandaddy but i take the subject quite serious. that is when i finish reading all the medals you have for blogging
I just read 275 words.
They were crap.
I’ll be sticking to my usual one from now on!
Phil - That’s a lie. I have used the word crap many times, but never 275 times in succession. You must have read other words as well……..