Grandad June 30th, 2008
What’s all this fanfare about the Irish Times being available on-line?
Big fucking deal.
Irishtimes.com me arse.
Newspapers on the Interweb are utterly useless. They are functionless.
Can you wrap chips in a monitor?
Can you put a computer screen on the floor to mop up dog piss?
Can you hold a computer across a fireplace to get a sluggish fire going?
Laptops are of little use if you are trying to light a bonfire.
Have you ever tried making a kite out of a server?
Try swatting a wasp with a rolled up Dell.
So…
I’m going to continue buying the good old fashioned newspaper.
I might even read it occasionally.
Grandad June 29th, 2008
Never underestimate the power of a hot curry.
Yesterday:
- headache
- aches all over
- sore throat
- feeling generally shit
Last night
Immediate aftermath
- soaked a towel with sweat
Today
Grandad June 28th, 2008
Apparently Head Rambles is now considered amongst the media elite.
You read it here first, folks!
I just received a mail announcing that the Irish Times is to be free of subscription as and from Monday.
The move to irishtimes.com is designed to make the newspaper the dominant media website in Ireland in the 21st century. The change from a subscription model to a free newspaper on irishtimes.com is a further instalment in the biggest editorial development programme in the history of the newspaper embarked upon last February with the redesign and modernisation of The Irish Times and the launch of new supplements.
Ireland.com is to be rebranded as an entirely new website -
The new ireland.com will combine relevant content across a range of channels, local services and search functionality in a manner that has not been seen in Ireland before. The new site is aimed at Irish internet users or people elsewhere with an interest in Ireland and all things Irish.
The mail was sent to such luminaries as RTE, The Independent, Business & Finance and the Guardian. There were quite a few radio stations in there too.
And a small clutch of bloggers, including Damien Mully, Twenty Major and [for some strange reason] myself.
I can truly say I have arrived.
I’m on the same mailing list as Pat ‘The Plank’ Kenny.
Grandad June 27th, 2008
It finally arrived.
I now have one of those SatNav things.
It came in a little box with damn all instructions except how to switch it on.
I switched it on.
It switched itself off again, because the battery was low.
I can see we are going to have a beautiful relationship.
I messed around with a couple of cables that came with it. One was for a car cigarette lighter socket, so I threw that out. The other one seemed to fit my computer so I plugged it in.
SatNav lit up but didn’t do anything. Apparently I’m just charging it. I left it to charge.
In the meantime, I found their web site. It had a manual, so I printed that off. All sixty something pages. But the fucking printer didn’t resize the pages so now I have little squares of printing in the middle of big blank pages. I’m not going to bother printing it off again.
Later, I decided to try it out, as I had to go to the village anyway.
That’s when I discovered what the cigarette lighter cable was for, so I had to fish it out of the bin and clean last night’s curry off it.
I programmed it to the best of my abilities.
It worked.
Yer Wan was quite pleasant about the trip. She didn’t have that much to say, but it’s not that complicated anyway.
It didn’t find me a decent parking space though.
Useless heap of shit.
Grandad June 26th, 2008
I just love the summer.
Today is a typical Irish summer’s day.
It’s pissing down out of the heavens, and thunder is rolling around the mountain peaks. It ain’t exactly warm either.
The weatherman apologised last night and said that there was no respite in sight. He said this summer was probably going to be like last summer. I don’t know why he apologised, as contrary to popular misconception, he only reports the weather. He doesn’t make it.
Yet another tree blew down last weekend.
The pond is overflowing.
Where’s all this Global Warming that people are so obsessed with? I have never heard so much shite in all my life.
I’m going out now.
I’m going to build myself a boat.
Grandad June 25th, 2008
I distrust people who are nice all the time. I particularly distrust people who are nice about other people all the time.
Either they are liars or they are naive.
That’s one of the reasons I married Herself. She is never nice. Ever.
Nobody is nice all the time, unless they are zonked out on something pharmaceutical.
Today is one of my days for being particularly nasty.
I’m in foul form. I have a headache, a pain in my arse and I’m tired. I feel like killing something.
I was going to pick a blog at random and tear it to shreds, but that’s no fun. Anyway it has been tried before, and all they got was praise. More people being nice.
Then I toyed with the idea of getting a photo of Brian Cowan and Photoshopping it to make him ugly. But nature has beaten me to it.
I might go out later to the village. It’s a few days since I pissed off some tourists. Maybe that’s what I need?
Or I might go out and hack down some trees [preferably someone else's].
Or I might go into town and help old ladies across the road. Of course, I’d abandon them half way just as the lights changed.
Anyone got any cute little kittens I can borrow, to tie tin cans to their tails?
I need cheering up.
But if anyone says anything nice….
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