Stony
Grandad June 12th, 2008
Life has gone very quiet here for the last few days.
This is very unusual. There is nearly always something weird going on, but not this week.
There were a couple of explosions the other night, but that was just Stony.
Stony owns the local quarry [and the Land Fill]. He’s a very nice bloke, and we often have a pint and a smoke together in the pub. But Stony has a problem. I won’t call him bi-polar or anything drastic like that, but he has the occasional fit of depression. You can always tell when one of these moods is coming on, because he starts drinking whiskey.
The word quickly spreads in the village if Stony is on the whiskey, and we all go home and stay there. Because Stony gets a little violent when he is in a mood, and you don’t want to be near a bloke who is a bit violent and has a pocket full of plastic explosive.
I keep telling him not to carry plastic around with him, but he says that you never know when it may come in handy. He pointed out that people often want tree stumps removed or a badly parked tour bus shifted, and I suppose he has a point. He also likes to give lumps of plastic to the local kids so they can use it as modelling clay. He’s very thoughtful.
But something was demolished the other night. It was probably just a few trees. He has been known to blow up an outbuilding or two but no one ever really gets hurt.
Things have been quiet since. Very quiet.
I get nervous when things are so quiet.
- Around the village
- Comments(28)
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I wonder……………
Is it the mood that gets Stoney started on the Whiskey
Or is it the Whiskey that gets him into the mood
That Darn firewater is deadly stuff don’t ya know!
So that I have this right, he has a blow out by things getting blown up and you are wondering when things will blow over so that you can take shots at blow-ins?
Blowdy hell!
But a little pinch of plastic is so handy for heating your coffee in the morning. I would be highly concerned about keep blasting caps in my pocket though. I would not like anything that can go “boom” so close to body parts that I would prefer to keep in working order.
Roy – It’s the mood that gets him on the whiskey. It’s a sure sign.
Longman – That is it in a bombshell.
Jim C – It would worry me too, but he keep them wrapped in Kleenex. He reckons he is safe, so who am I to argue?
I knew a chap in college who used to get really aggressive when he drank whiskey.
I knew another chap who used to just fall asleep and throw up on himself. Which camp is Stoney in? And does he look like Dennis Hopper (he does in my head)?
Thrifty – Stony just gets depressed and starts on the whiskey. I think a few good bangs knocks him out of it. He’s fine after blowing up a rock or two, though it scares the shit out of the sheep.
Funny you should mention Dennis Hopper – They aren’t unalike, though Stony is a bit more weatherbeaten.
I have been known to blow up outbuilding myself,but i never used explosives.;)
I have that problem myself Popeye. Just cut back on the beans, cabbage and onions.
Roy beat me to it about the whiskey!
That’s fairly mental, pawning off explosives like mala….
Maybe he is saving up for Bush’s visit to Norn Iron in mid June? If he heads north, you’ll know why! Kudos to Stony, I say.
Hell, yeah! I made it to “the list”! I feel so special! I like stoney, makes me feel better to sometimes blow things up
or at least it did when I was younger. Hey, is it just me and mine or is anyone else having trouble logging into mybloglog? All I’m getting when I log in is a blank gray page that says “done” very frustrating….
That’s not a bad idea. I’m gonna’ go down the corner store and pick up some C4 and a couple of detonators. That’ll come in handy for keeping the neighborhood kids off my lawn. The claymore mines just don’t cut it anymore.
“…something was demolished the other night…Things have been quiet since”
Just a guess, but have you noticed people’s lips moving and no noise coming out? Maybe it’s quiet because the explosion was nearer than you think??
YAY! Number seven, baby!!
How often does it renew itself then, this list??
it looks like it renews itself instantly, mum….too cool for school
Prin and E Mum – Will you please stop playing with my list!! It updates itself instantly and gives the number of comments over the last 14 days [at least that is the setting I have it at, at the moment]. There is also a facility to exclude specified users [such as myself] but I can add either of you two if you like?
He’s just self-medicating. One man’s Prozac is another man’s plastic explosive. It’s good to have interests, besides.
Sam – I always say that a person needs a hobby. One person’s flower arranging is another person’s Semtex.
Can I have a commenters list? Can I? Can I? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeease???
Maybe Stony wanted to blow up the “Lisbon Treaty”, sounds like that what should happen to the treaty anyway!
I don’t know if I want to cry or laff …. given my past AND PRESENT !!
My jaw is flapping… not good…. catching flies on this one..
Okay I’ll call it…. Nice guy but…. HE IS CARRYING POTENTIALLY EXPLOSIVE ITEMS IN A PUBLIC AREA
HELLO…. NO REASONS ARE GOOD ENOUGH…
No local regulatory body you can call ?
I know the rock and the hard place….but at least make who’m ever aware…. call them…
THIS IS NOT FUNNY !!!
And ya !!! I’m a safety prude, but I’ve seen enough…. )
Medstudentwife – Don’t worry. He’s a professional, and we trust him around the village. Our village is our regulatory body and we’re happy.
Ah, I remember days like these back before the medication. Going around with a small backpack full of plastic, caps and detention cord (military issue-love that stuff-burns at 5 miles a second).
I recall one night around 3:00 AM when another depressed buddy of mine and I were sitting atop this knoll overlooking a section of major highway that headed over an 8 lane bridge between Groton and New London, CT. We were waiting for the local State cop sitting at the turn-around at the base of the bridge to fall asleep in his cruiser so it was a good thing we brought a few brews along to pass the time plus my buddy had brought his guitar also and we sang songs in bad harmony to keep our spirits up.
You see, we had wrapped several of the trees that surrounded that turn-around with about 5 wraps of the det. cord; the end of which was connected to a radio detonator.
When my buddy saw the trooper’s head nod for the last time through his high powered binoculars, I set off the det. cord via the radio transmitter I had been sitting on. We laughed for weeks afterward at the results as you can imagine. Great therapy that was.
No one did manage to figure out how several medium size pine trees seemed to have been blasted off their trunks at the same time exact instant especially when one of the “State’s Finest” had been awake and alert at the time at the very turn-around where it happened (or at least he was a split second after it happened anyway).
But that was then. Now I just spend a few happy hours during the summer weekends baking up these “plastic” golf balls and substituting them for the real ones up at the local club…I do limit myself to lawyers and certain politicians though, this really keeps my spirits up. I just knew that greens keeper job would come in handy one day.
Ah, Kirk, you made my morning! Thanks for the laugh!
Kirk M – We don’t normally take kindly to foreigners moving into our area, but should you ever wish to retire to Ireland, I think we could happily let you in. I think you would fit in very well in our village.
I am truly honored sir, and perhaps I’ll fortunate enough to be able to someday and hopefully not before for we both pass on.
Always meant to visit Ireland while we were poking holes in the ocean in and around that general area but we could never seem to find a parking spot for the submarine.
Kirk M – I don’t intend passing on for a year or two yet [but I may change my mind], so there is plenty of time. I don’t know if they allowed you to keep your submarine when you left, but if they did then Killary Harbour on the west coast is a good natural fjord. Or Bantry Bay has a deep water terminal? Let me know and I’ll give you GPS coordinates of either or both.
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