Reasons
Grandad June 15th, 2008
I went down for a pint or four last night.
“It’s quiet tonight?” I said to Pullit as I sat at my favourite stool and lit up the pipe.
“It’s the football,” said Pullit as he placed a nice pint in front of me. “They’re all over in the Inn shouting at the widescreens and getting themselves into a frenzy.”
“Jayzus, but I hate football,” I said after knocking a couple of inches off my pint. “A shower of nancies chasing a ball around a fucking field isn’t my idea of entertainment.”
“I could never see the attraction,” Pullit agreed as he started pouring a couple of pints for some Americans who were huddled in the corner writing postcards. I noticed he was using the slops from the previous night, which should give give them a nice dose of the gawks.
“How’s that web thing that you write coming on?” he asked as he engraved a couple of shamrocks in the heads of the pints.
“Terrible,” I said. “I wrote about that treaty thing and now they are all blaming me for the No vote.”
Pullit laughed. “Why were you so strong on the No thing anyway? I didn’t think you were that much into politics?”
“It was Herself. She dragged me up North to do some shopping and we ended up in the Sprucefield Shopping Centre.” I shuddered. “It was a terrible place.”
“What was so bad about it?” asked Pullit after shouting at the Americans to collect their pints, which were already going flat.
“There were only two fucking shops,” I replied. “A Boots and a Marks and Spencers. I had to spend a couple of hours drinking coffee in a fucking McDonalds while she trawled the shops. It was a nightmare.”
“What has that got to do with the treaty?”
“It has everything to do with the treaty. I have had nightmares about Sprucefield ever since.
So I certainly never want to see Lisburn again.”
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