Bed wetting

Grandad July 16th, 2008

I am getting very tired of wetting my bed.

I have been doing it every night for the last few weeks and it’s annoying me.

I have a very strange body temperature thingy.  I have always had it.  I am cooler that your average Joe Soap.  If I take my temperature, and it says normal, then I probably have a fever.

One of the effects of this is that I have to be nice and cold, before I can sleep.

Herself, just to be awkward, likes a warm bed.  Every night we have the same thing - she plugs in a heater and closes the windows, and I switch it off again [and open the windows].  This goes on all evening and the winner is the one who gets to sleep.

In the morning I wake and the bed is soaked with sweat. [You don't seriously think I meant anything else, do you??] 

This is a pain in the hole, as it means loads of washing.  I have Herself trained well though, and the exertion keeps her nice and warm.

Every night, I have to sit in the cold before going to bed.

Maybe I’m starting to melt?

Is this Global Warming manifesting itself?

Am I going to raise sea levels by a couple of hundred feet with all the sweat?

I worry sometimes.

31 Responses to “Bed wetting”

  1. Maxi Cane IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 1:11 pm

    My father caught me wetting the bed once. I was on the bed side table at the time and if I look back, that’s probably what woke him up in the first place!

  2. Thriftcriminal IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 1:41 pm

    Yeah, I know the feeling. I too tend to be on the colder side of normal and like the room to be fairly frigid when going to sleep. And the missus like to be warm. These days I tend to just leave bits of myself sticking out from under the duvet in order to cool off when sleeping.

  3. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 1:57 pm

    So you sweat too much in bed. Well funny thing is for the last week or so the nights down here are almost mediterranean. warm warm. I presume you sleep au naturel.
    I think the combination of the new found night warmth and your desire, spoken of many times, to be in France, conspire to make you sweat comme un cochon.
    Or take the duvet off. And stop worrying, the upgrade works.

  4. peter donegan IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:01 pm

    soak your beard in wash and go [the shampoo] and just sleep in the bath!

  5. Ian IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:05 pm

    90% of heat loss is through your head - the answer is to take your hat off at night time, or to get a nice cotton one to wear instead of the blue woolly one

  6. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Maxi - That conjures up a very strange and disturbing picture. Drunk again??

    Thrifty - Belated Happy Birthday! :) Another disturbing picture. What bits do you leave dangling out? Aren’t you afraid of the cat doing some damage?

    Kerryview - Now you are the one trying to conjure up a disturbing picture? It is a problem in France because I can’t sleep there for the racket all the fans make. Do you like the upgrade? Can you see the difference?

    Peter - Bath? What’s a bath?

    Ian - That is very true. Unfortunately my hair has grown through the wool and I have sort of digested it into my head. It has to stay, as it would be too painful to remove.

  7. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:30 pm

    ah the upgrade. Reminds me (again) of the old days. “We want/need a new system - it’s too slow”. So we go through the hoops to design/make-up a new one. Analyse, back up, work-flow, back-up, sweat, back up, dummy run, back up, parallel run, back up, go live! “Well, there you are Mr. Client, what do you think?” Always the answer, “It’s not that different, hardly notice it”.
    Now to hagglle for the cheque.
    Well done Grandad, hard to spot the diff. That’s a compliment.

  8. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:40 pm

    A compliment?? I have never had one of those before……. :|

  9. Karyn Romeis UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Well, well - I never thought I’d see the day that I’d use the word ‘normal’ on you, but it’s perfectly normal to run a little cooler than everyone else. A ‘normal’ temperature is just an average, and many people run a little hotter or a little colder than 36.9C.

    I believe you can now get duvets that are designed for couples like you. Google something like ‘dual tempo’ or ’split tog duvet’.

    You could always try something that one of the South African cricketers used to use - a kind of cross between a necklace and an ice pack to cool the blood that travelled to and from his head. Since he was able to continue playing first class cricket well into his 40’s, it must have worked!

    Sorry not to have a witty response for you today :o(

  10. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:45 pm

    watch them flood in now…….(can’t do smileys, thanks be to jaze). Anyway it’s time to visit the office snug - I’ll check with the lads about your sweating and report back. On second thoughts..(I now someone who sweats at night…….)

  11. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Karyn - What happened to the cricketer when he reached his 40’s? Did his head fall off from frostbite?

    Kerryview - You have very deep and meaningful conversations in the ‘office’. Incidentally, I used to drink in a pub that was called The Office. It was in Heathrow.

  12. tt UNITED STATESon 16 Jul 2008 at 3:19 pm

    I guess we were separated at birth as I have exactly the same thing. Started about a year ago. My best guess is liver.Yes, you do worry, nightsweats and all that. Any M.D commenters out there ?

  13. Thriftcriminal IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Lost me there sir? My personal B-day is not for another 2 weeks, and the blog has only been in existence for 10 months or so. Legs are the usual bits I stick out, not a cat fan, so no issue there. Reminds me of this though.

  14. jedrzej IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Having lower body temperature is exactly what gave Yossarian the chance to rest in a hospital whenever he wanted.
    You could too use it to gain something from public health care system if there ever was one in Ireland.

  15. prin UNITED STATESon 16 Jul 2008 at 3:47 pm

    see, i thought i was imagining it. doctor’s just look at you like you are stone crazy when you tell them that your normal body temp is 97 and that if you have 98.6 you have a fever. luckily my son has it too so we get along famously in the temp department. although i have to say that not to many of my friends will come to visit…they say it’s just too stupid to have to bring a big coat to someone’s house in the mississippi summertime :) i say well you wouldn’t want me visiting you naked would you? it’s very funny to see the look on their faces as the image of that comes across their brain :) I don’t have any suggestions for you except one that i tried when i was married to the heat of the earth once upon a time. i had a personal fan on my side of the bed, on high, just on me…worked just fine, plus the noise of it drowned out his snoring! oh, hey, thanks for the link, ‘preciate it :)

  16. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Too much Guinness perhaps?……………………….

  17. Lottie IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:27 pm

    We always thought you were a hottie Grandad.

  18. peter donegan IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:39 pm

    hottie lottie…. no no, lottie said hottie…

  19. King Bob NETHERLANDSon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:44 pm

    Here I was thinking that you had taken to drinking Guinness in bed, and perhaps suffering from a bit of spillage. I don’t think you are abnormal, I have the window open and a fan running, and am still too warm.

  20. Jefferson Davis UNITED STATESon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:45 pm

    You had me going there for a second, Grandad. :)

    I look forward to the cool weather! I am tired of these 32°C nights in the Southern US. :)

    @Kate You can never have too much Guinness! :)

  21. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:54 pm

    TT - I don’t think we’d have too many doctors hanging around murky corners like this one??

    Thrifty - I thought I read somewhere yesterday that it was your birthday? No problem - take it on account for two weeks time. As for bits dangling over the side of the bed, I do a bit of leg dangling myself. I must say the idea of a drop of cunnilingus from a cat is not a turn on!!

    Jedrzej - The last thing I would do is hand myself into our “Public Healthcare System”. I wouldn’t be seen dead entering a hospital as it would probably kill me. Catch 22 ??? ;)

    Prin - Does that explain why I sometimes wander around the village airing my differences? There have been complaints about that.

    Kat - There is no such thing.

    Lottie - You know what they say? Cold heart, warm hands. Or is it the other way around?

    Bob - Guinness is a serious business. I never spill it. Especially not in bed.

    JD - I just said that.

  22. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Grandad and Jefferson Davis - you obviously haven’t tried the stuff they serve over here - my dad always said it didn’t cross the water well!!!

  23. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Kate - That’s not Guinness. That’s the water they use to wash out the vats. They have to get rid of it somehow.

  24. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 5:37 pm

    That explains it - my dad also said they used Liffey water to make Guinness! And have you seen the state of that river? Its enough to make you wet the bed??

  25. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 5:41 pm

    Kate - My drains flow straight into the upper reaches of the Liffey. Don’t tell the Council though.

  26. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Nice…….. On a lighter note have you seen the ads round this post - someone will be making a fortune selling those bedwetting alarms - maybe you should invest - it would save on the washing! :-)

  27. Grandad IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 5:53 pm

    I saw those. They’re useless though. They only stop one peeing in the bed, which is no good to me. I pee in the wardrobe.

  28. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 16 Jul 2008 at 6:02 pm

    God help us - it gets worse…….. Can’t wait to see what you write about next!!!!

  29. Thriftcriminal IRELANDon 16 Jul 2008 at 9:41 pm

    Cheers GD :-)

  30. Jefferson Davis UNITED STATESon 17 Jul 2008 at 3:59 am

    @Kate You should try the stuff we get in the states! :)

  31. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 17 Jul 2008 at 11:20 am

    Well, as promised, we discussed the sweating problem at the office yesterday afternoon. Needless to say, more heat than light.
    “Does he have sex?”. “Probably the tablets”. “At least he knows he’s alive”. “Does he ever wake up in the middle of the night, laughing his head off?”. “Leave the window open” (seanie, masters in the bleedinobvious).
    In the end I was advised to visit my quack. Or get another one in.

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