Public announcement

Grandad July 26th, 2008

This is a little message to the bloke with the megaphone.

I don’t know where you are, but you’ll be easy enough to find.

I don’t care if it’s a happy sports day for the children.

I don’t care if you are making lots of people very happy.

You are not making me very happy.

I don’t care if you have permission to hold an event.

You don’t have my permission.

You are disturbing my Saturday morning.

You are too loud.

Turn the fucking thing down so I [and everyone else in a ten mile radius] can’t hear you.

Unless, of course you want to know what it feels like to have a megaphone inserted.

Rectally.

19 Responses to “Public announcement”

  1. robert IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Every day we have something similar here with a moron in an ice-cream van. So f*cking annoying. If I ever see the damned thing parked I swear I’m going to let the air out of the tires.

  2. Grannymar UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 12:53 pm

    I can’t hear it!

    Only sound here are the birds singing.

  3. Grannymar UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 12:56 pm

    @Robert

    Try a candle in the exhust

  4. robert IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Nice idea Grannymar - I’ve added it to my little black book of tricks ;)

  5. Grandad IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 1:02 pm

    A potato works very well too. :twisted:

  6. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 1:07 pm

    maybe it’s a sports day for kids whose parents not only can’t read, but don’t give a fuck about giving up their saturday for their kids sports day. There are no megaphones here up the side of the mountain. The brown bread and carrot are just made - all is good. Move further away from towns, I say.

  7. Grandad IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Kerryview - There are no megaphones here either. He is a long way away, but he is damn loud. I’m surprised you and Grannymar can’t hear him?

  8. kerryview UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Ohh dear, getting mutt & jeff with the advancing years. I wouldn’t hear a megaphone on saturday morns as I listen (!) to George Hamilton prattle on about his travels and eating experiences at my expense. So megaphone loudness is not a problem. Unless I’m at the office - “What’s that you say ? I’ll have another”. Which of course is not a problem.

  9. Xbox4NappyRash NETHERLANDSon 26 Jul 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Ya miserable aul git.

  10. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 2:40 pm

    Dear oh dear - tantrums at your age? Don’t you remember being young and carefree?

  11. tt UNITED STATESon 26 Jul 2008 at 3:43 pm

    I agree with xbox you Old Misery Guts you !

  12. Grandad IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Xbox - One of the great joys of being old is I have a full licence to be a miserable aul git. It is actually part of the job description.

    Kate - Jayzus, I have enough problems remembering what I did yesterday!

    TT - I am no longer miserable. In fact I am happy. HAPPY!! It is pissing rain on them :twisted:

  13. TheChrisD IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 4:46 pm

    I think last time I heard a megaphone was from all the way across the estate. Thankfully it wasn’t right outside our door.

    But one thing that does annoy me is the time when some Dunboyne GAA team won some trophy, and several people in card drove up and down the main street of the village honking horns, cheering and using those blooming megaphones.

    Alright we won, big fucking deal…

  14. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Thats strange - its really hot here….. but then the sun usually shines on the righteous ;-)

  15. Grandad IRELANDon 26 Jul 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Kate - Careful now, or I’ll call down a thunderstorm on you too.

  16. Kate UNITED KINGDOMon 26 Jul 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Go on then - it will give me someone to blame!! It’s forecast for here too… so I’m taking Hippie over to my partner’s house for the night - she won’t panic so much if we’re there and her Mum’s off partying ….. oh to be 25 and know what I know now!!!!

  17. Jim UNITED STATESon 26 Jul 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Grandad are you sure you aren’t suffering from OCD? Old Cranky and Delusional.

  18. Grandad IRELANDon 27 Jul 2008 at 12:53 am

    Old? Yes.
    Cranky? Yes.
    Delusional? Who am I to say???

  19. prin UNITED STATESon 28 Jul 2008 at 1:11 pm

    we used to have an ice cream van the traveled through our neighborhood twice(wtf!) a day screaming in this scratchy shrill female voice HELLO….HELLO…HELLO…HELLO the entire time it took them to get around our entire circle(usually at nap time)…now talk about wanting to blow something up…it must have gotten on everyone’s nerves because now they drive around with this god-awful tune…at least you can sort of sleep through that. what happened to the nice little tinkling tune that ice cream trucks used to have?

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