Buy your kinky stuff here
Grandad August 16th, 2008
When the European Economic Commission was formed, we all thought it was a good idea.
It was a nice little trading club of a few countries in Europe. You know the kind of thing – you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.
One day, the word went around that the EEC was to ban carrots if they weren’t straight.
Oh, how we laughed.
This was a great joke. Imagine outlawing a vegetable because it had a kink in it! After all, mankind had been eating weird shaped things from the dawn of time. It had to be a gag by some reporter with a sense of humour.
But it wasn’t.
They outlawed any vegetables and fruit that didn’t conform to strict standards. From now on, we were to only get Aryan produce.
I could never understand the reason for this. It is true that it made life easier for packers. Carrots are easier to slice in bulk if they are straight. So it would have been logical to separate the produce into ‘conform’ and ‘non-conform’ and to trade them separately. But no. Any non-conformist produce was to be dumped. This was bureaucracy gone insane. At a time when millions were starving, Europe was dumping untold tons of food because it didn’t look nice.
Another strange aspect of this was that they showed no concern for taste at all. Food looked good – nice and straight and evenly shaped, but it tasted like cardboard. Obviously we eat with our eyes.
There was talk at one stage of growing cubed tomatoes, because they would be more efficient to pack, and could be sliced without the knife slipping. That idea was dropped though.
…
Someone has finally seen the light.
Millions are still starving [but who gives a shit about them?], but now we are being affected by soaring food costs. We can’t starve.
They are going to allow kinky stuff back on the shelves.
We are back to the good old days of weird shaped parsnips and knobbly potatoes.
Herself will be pleased.
- Rambles
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In Canada there was a political group called the Rhino Party. (I actually voted for them) and they wanted a policy the oil drums be square. Made for easier stacking.
They wouldn’t be so easy to roll though? [oil drums, not the Rhino Party]
Another moment of madness that has had a rethink then….. crazy, crazy people… a carrot is a carrot whether it has two legs and a ‘tail’ or four legs and a stalk.
That’s why I like buying my veg from a market garden – all shapes and sizes there!!!
Two vegetable sellers in Moore Street.
- Here, Dolores, this carrot reminds me of my aul fella.
- Does it , Concepta? Is it the length of it?
- No Dolores. Not the length of it.
- Is it the width of it?
- No. Not the width of it.
- Well, what is it, Concepta?
- It’s the dirt of it.
Heh! The Ol’ Wans are the best.
ha! has the carrot been photoshopped, couldn’t put that on the dinner table, or could you? Scuse me, I got hit by the lightening flashing around the place
No Photoshopping involved here! And no, I wouldn’t put it on the table. I would preserve it though and put it on the mantelpiece.
Lightning? We only have an ordinary everyday type of storm here.
Strange looking vegetables are allowed again?
I can leave the house at last!!!
Maxi – Thank you for cheering me on this miserable wet wintry summer’s day.
The loudest crack of thunder just erupted right above my roof.
I’m staying in after all!
I wish I was that carrot ………. I have my reasons
Maxi – That was probably aimed at me. Missed again!
Daddy – You really mustn’t fret about that accident. It may grow back again?
Well I’d eat him… I don’t prohibit misshapen things at my kitchen table.
More kinky veg . . .
http://lovecarrots.wordpress.com/
Michelle – What part would you start on?
Baino – Heh! So I’m inspiring others now?
Good thing I’m getting outta the shop when I can, they;d be a bitch to stack.
Well, that sure would be a… challenge… to slice up…
TheChrisD – You could have great fun with it if you believe in voodoo?
After this, and Grannymar’s last Thursday Special, I think I’ll pass…
Hah! I had watery eyes for a while after reading that one.
“Michelle – What part would you start on?”
THE GOOD PART! Chomp chomp chomp chomp…