A topsy turvey world
Grandad September 26th, 2008
[written while I was still over there]
One of the things that strikes me about France is their propensity for doing things back to front.
The most obvious and immediate example of this upon driving off the ferry is their habit of driving on the wrong side of the road.
I have no problems with this and frequently do it myself in Ireland, especially after a belly full of Guinness. I don’t know whether it is the wine or not, but they all seem to drive on the wrong side here. My one fear is that I will come across someone sober who will actually be driving on the right side, but so far, we have been lucky.
Another aspect of French life is their habit of putting light switches in upside-down. We all know that you press the switch down to turn a light on, but here they have to be pressed up. They surely must find this irritating. I know I do. So in the interest of European solidarity and cordiality and all that crap, I have spent the last few days rewiring the house. As part of this job, I am replacing all their sockets, as the house we are in has only old fashioned two pin sockets, and Herself is bitching that her hair dryer doesn’t plug in. It is only right that everyone conforms to a standard, so now our house has beautiful three pin sockets, and all the switches have to be pressed down to be turned on.
As part of the rewiring project, I couldn’t help but notice that they had two sockets in the bathroom.
Everyone knows that live sockets in a bathroom are extremely dangerous, and in fact are illegal.
I therefore did the owners of the place a service and removed the sockets, and all the associated wiring. I’m sure the owners will be delighted when they are not arrested if their building is ever inspected. The fact that their gable wall fell down during the renovations is surely a small price to pay for not going to gaol for a lengthy period.
Another thing that seems to be upside down is their Interweb.
I have tried connecting quite a few times, but never get anywhere. Each time, I have asked for assistance, and they look at my screen and say "oh! I have never seen that before!" or words to that effect. It is annoying to say the least, not least because my laptop tells me that if I could connect, I would have speeds of 16Mb which is a hell of a lot faster than I can get at home. I could view my nude pictures of Paris Hilton five times faster!
Writing this, an idea has occurred to me….
Maybe the next time I try to connect, I should hold my laptop upside down?
- Holidays
- Comments(17)
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I had to smile at the thought of you on a renovation mission with your 3 pin plugs carefully packed - just in case!!! What a way to spend a holiday!!!
Once a Scout, always a Scout. [Dib. Dib.]
Go on then - lets have a list of your emergency holiday kit?
*sigh*
3-pin sockets
Elephant gun
15lb Semtex
Toothpicks
Elastoplast
etc. etc.
Are you the only person on the Interweb today?
why? don’t you want to talk to me?? …..????semtex????
I have no objections to cozy little chats. I was just wondering where the Rest of The World is?
As for the Semtex - Have you never gone on holiday and found a tree stump in the way and just wished you had some way of removing it?
Funny thing is - we have all those things backwards over in the USA too. We too drive on the wrong (er right) side of the road. Those plugs in the bathrooms still freak me out! Wonder where all these great ideas of theirs came from in the first place?
Oh and I’m out here alright - you sent the rain over here and I have no choice but remain indoors on the computer!
Tricia - Is America French? Naah! Can’t be. France is civilised. You must have taken the ideas from them. Sorry about the weather, but I had to send the rain somewhere.
Strangely enough ………i haven’t, but I take your point
The first time I ever got the crap kicked out of me was by the Paris cops. Although they were tres gentil compared with the Hamburg cops.
Jez I’ve just realised that was 40 summers ago. Shit !
Ha! Now you know how I feel, when I visit Ireland and the UK! Of course, I’m so backwards anyway that I feel right at home flipping the switches down. Heck, I drive on the left too, but only when slightly legless.
Do they still have Minitel in France?
I haven’t seen a terminal for a while, not that I have been looking for one.
It was a sort of proto-Web.
My poor husband…I see he’s slipped a few notches in the Most Embarassing Husband 2008 race. He’s downstairs now breaking…er, FIXING, my washing machine. I’m up here commenting to you and trying not to think about the washing machine.
Maybe we should go to France, and I’ll let him work on THEIR houses…yeah. That would be nice.
TT - ‘68?? Do you realise you were having the shit kicked out of you in Paris the same time I was having the crap kicked out of me in Dublin? Glorious times. It’s a small world.
JD - I vote we change all light switches to switch horizontally, and we all drive down the centre of the road?
Ian - No sign of Minitel. They are years ahead of us on broadband though. They think 16Mb is slow!!!
Susan - Semtex is good for fixing washing machines too. Want some?
We consider sockets in the bathroom to be an intelligence test. It helps chlorinate the gene pool and looking around at the gene pool today it needs a lot of chlorine.