The spy who came in from the cold
Grandad October 4th, 2008
All good things must come to an end.
The guinea pig has lost his freedom.
He has, however gained a warm home and a good supply of food, so the little bugger had better not complain.
He hasn’t uttered a squeak since he came in. Not a warble or a bubble. I think he’s depressed. I’ll give him some Prozac later.
In the meantime, there is the question of what to do with him. Our K8 is going to try to introduce him to her pair. If they get on, then that’s fine. If they don’t, then I’ll look after him. I confess I have grown quite fond of him over the last ten days or so. He looks quite tasty too.
There is another problem – his name.
I called him McCain, but I don’t think it’s fair to call him after such a freak. I was going to call him GP. That’s short for Guinea Pig and bears no relation to his medical qualifications, if any. I’m not sure about that though.
I’m stumped.
Any ideas?
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You have permission to call him “RhodesTer”, which would be appropriate considering that you grew fond of him only because he bugged the shit out of you, and he comes and goes as he pleases.
RhodesTer - What has your name got to do with bugging the shit out of me? And do you have golden streaks in your hair?
probably not - but I do!!!
I have a suggestion for him. You could call him Lunch:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cookingdiva/62203219/
Yum!
Kate - I can’t call him Kate because a) I’m not sure of his/her gender and b) I already have one in the family. If I yelled “Kate - get back in your cage”, it might cause confusion?
If he bugs the shit out of you, call him Senokot.
??
Ooh, or you could call him Couldye… or Willye… or Didye
Ok I’ll stop now.
E Mum - That looks delicious!! Do you have to kill them first? I refuse to use any name that end in ‘ye’. It would just remind me of that pea-brain dog all the time.
Susan - Senna is a runner! [in more ways than one?]
Apply lipstick (to the pig) and call it Sarah Palin.
TT - I heard that if you put lipstick on Sarah Palin, she’s still a pig?
cue big awwwww! Grandad is adopting, hope the little rodent knows how lucky he is
Meanwhile, was sitting in a coffee shop just now minding ma own bizness when who did I see strolling down the street - your good self, beard and cap intact, no pipe but sporting a very fetching pair of wrap-around sunglasses! Very stylish indeed.
Charmed - I hope you gave me a big loud greeting? You would have made a new friend, because I was out, all right, but didn’t have sunglasses on! I don’t have wrap around sunglasses.
Call it lunch.
@Maxi. Keep up, man, I did that gag…
To progress from English Mum and to introduce a tad of subtlety, I’d call him/her ‘Starters’
Goddam it, I’m losing it.
Fine, I’d call him pretty fucked if I found him during a case of the munchies with the shops closed.
Daddy P - Entree?
Maxi - Have you started the Project yet? There’s a funny smell in here, and it ain’t the guinea pig.
UPDATE: Just to throw a spanner in the works, I have discovered he is a female. DO NOT ask me how I found out.
I haven’t yet, that’s just my normal enchanting musk.
I’m not going to ask how you found out, I don’t need to. But if you want to set me wrong, do tell!
hahaha, you thought you were wanking and you were really milking
Maxi - When are you starting? [I like to be forewarned]
Stipes - I am shocked. The day I am reduced to pleasuring a guinea pig is the day I’ll gladly certify myself.
Don’t worry, I’ll let you know.
Maxi - At a guess, I’d say half of Western Europe will know. Remember Chernobyl?
I do. My mother was pregnant with my brother when that happened and he developed lots of problems, extra bones and x-ray vision, the usual stuff really. Actually if he stares really intensely at a ready meal, he can cook it in seconds.
You think I should stay away form pregnant women during this?
You could call HER lunch.
Why does the thing need a name? You gonna let it run with Sandy? If so, I would go with Roadkill.
Francais: Cobaye? porc minisule?
MinniePig? (one word)
Any Italians around? Just call out “Guinea!” Then we’ll be calling you Roadkill Rambles.
I was thinking ‘Guinness’ but I’m a bit late in the day today. You’re all asleep over the pond already…:)
When my children were small, we bought a guinea pig from a pet shop. She was named after a favourite character from “A midsummer night’s dream” that we’d seen not long before.
We’d been assured that she wasn’t pregnant, but about 52 days later, she gave birth to a baby guinea pig.
My children called this one “Baby Jesus” as that was the only other immaculate conception that they knew of. A grade one teacher was very amused.
By the way, Hermia was later eaten by a snake.
Perhaps there coud be some clue to the name of your guinea pig in the way that she arrived at your home.
Jane - The end to your story has ruined my day. Thanks.
I have to declare a winner. Sixty - We have decided on MinniePig [or Minnie] for short].
Your prize is a rather fetching little guinea pig. You can call in and collect her next time you are passing.
Hobo!
Thank God she’s a she. I dunno what I’d do with two batches of mini-pigs running around the place.
“Thank God she’s a she”
I could be wrong. Heh!
Well I can only offer this suggestion:
One, guinea pig, boned and cubed. You can use the fur as a hair piece
One, large onion
Two cloves garlic
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 tbs. Chile powder
1 can beer
2 beef bullion cubes
Saute guinea pig until tender. Add onion,
cook until onion is translucent. Add the rest
of the seasonings, mix well and add beer
and bullion cubes. Cook 10 - 12 minutes
on medium heat.
Hope that helps.