Sulks
Grandad October 14th, 2008
Me: OY!
Laptop: What?
Me: I need to access some files on the PC in the office.
Laptop: So?
Me: When I try to connect, you just say that the network drive is unavailable.
Laptop: Have you tried switching on the other PC?
Me: Don’t be fucking smart. I used to be able to access them, but now, for the last few days, I can’t.
Laptop: Have you tried rebooting?
Me: Don’t treat me like an idiot. What is going on?
Laptop: Have you tried resetting the router?
Me: Hold on……….
………
Me: No difference, but now I can’t access the Interweb.
Laptop: You forgot to reset the address.
Me: Aw fuck! I can’t remember what it was. Now I have to phone my provider. You’re a right bastard.
Laptop: Heh!
………
Me: OK. I’m connected again, but I still can’t see the other PC.
Laptop: Have you been messing with the settings again?
Me: I haven’t touched the fucking settings. I’m getting annoyed now.
Laptop: Oooooh! I’m scared.
Me: Will you stop messing and tell me what’s wrong?
Laptop: Click on ‘Help’.
Me: You know that Help thing is damn all use.
Laptop: Have you tried Google?
Me: All I get is a load of propeller-heads who use language I can’t understand. Will you please tell me why you won’t connect to the PC?
Laptop: Because it called me a jumped up little Tandy.
Me: Oh Christ!
*sigh*
- computers
- Comments(14)
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You wouldn’t have these problems Grandad, if you’d have only left the Maltesers out for the computilator-fairies. They’re the ones who solve these little misunderstandings while we sleep you see, and all goes smoothly when he hit the ‘on’ button.
My theory anyhow, and it works so far, so it must be true.
Susan - I’ll try that. I have already sprinkled the blood of a sacrificed goat onto the keyboard, but that only made the keys sticky.
Borrow one of those handheld PC’s and use it around the laptop.
None of us like the feeling of being replaced by a younger, slimmer version of us that will do stuff we won’t.
That should sort it.
Been harvesting the crop again GD????
I was going to suggest the naughty step - until I read the bit about sacrificed goats. Christ. I’m staying well out of it.
I think your laptop just needs a little bit of “throwing down a flight of stairs” therapy.
OK, here’s what to do.
Hire me to fly over there and fix the problem.
While I’m there I will do a whole disc encryption so even your laptop won’t be able to make sense of any data on your hard drive.
It’s probably better than argueing with it.
ps. Don’t anthropomorphise your computers. It gets them upset.
Maxi - Have you got one I can borrow? Would a mobile phone do?
Kate - No more than normal… ?
SH - Naughty step doesn’t work. It doesn’t seem to care where it is.
TheChrisD - I tried throwing it through a window. It didn’t work. Know any good glaziers?
Brianf - There is a cheque for $5 in the post.
I don’t anthropomorphise my computers. I’m strictly a woman’s man.
sounds much like the conversation i have with my pc on a daily basis, especially the past two weeks, and i don’t even have a laptop
I’ll post it up to you, it’ll show your laptop who’s boss!
Prin - Your PC is schizophrenic? It thinks is a laptop too?
Maxi - Thanks. It’s starting to behave itself now. I threatened to install Linux again
Laptop, I thought I bought this thing for a lap-dance??? No wonder I so feckin’ frustrated. Even the printer laughs at me, the bastard. Semtex, here I come!!!
John - Semtex is your only man. If you want a few pounds of it, just let me know.
Grandad,
If only you could get me some over here, I would be one “happy camper”. Oh well one can at least dream. Thanks for the offer, if I can ever be of any help to you, just ask!