Grandad January 6th, 2009

I should be writing about something very profound here, for this is a special post.

But then if I wrote about something profound, I wouldn’t be able to tell you what is significant about this.

Catch 22 and all that crap.

If you want to drive yourself slightly insane, you can go back through this site and count all the rubbish I have written.

I think you will find that this is my thousandth post.

1000

Jayzus!

I have heard that one person has actually read all of the site from the very beginning.

He is very comfy in his padded cell up in St Patrick’s Institution for the Terminally Bewildered.

1,000 posts is quite a lot.

When you think about it, if you write something every day, it will still take the best part of three years to get there.

Three years?

What a fucking waste of time.

• Blogging
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Grandad January 5th, 2009

Here we go again.

Some of you will know this, but others who have been experiencing a two week orgy of drink may have missed it.

The Irish Blog Awards time has arrived again.

The ceremony is on the 21st of next month, but like an American presidential election, the voting starts well in advance.

As far as I am aware, anyone can nominate a blog.  You don’t have to be Irish or even civilised to vote, which presumably means that Americans can do it?

The blog has to be Irish though, or at least written by an Irish person.  It must also be an active blog.

That’s about it really.  Simple.  The rules such as they are can all be found on the website.

Being a highly law abiding citizen, I am not touting for votes. [*cough*]  In fact I’m going to be lazy and not even make any recommendations. Sorry K8 the GR8!

So get your arses over to The Irish Blog Awards site and cast your nominations.

• Awards , Blogging
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Grandad January 4th, 2009

Where is the National Emergency Plan when you really need it?

I have a real emergency, and there is feck all mention of it in the Plan.

I called into the shop yesterday for my supply of tobacco.  They were out of it.

I called into the wee supermarket as they always have plenty.  They were out of it.

Neither shop had any pipe tobacco in any flavour, origin, shape, form or religion.

This is not funny.

They had tons of cigarettes, but they are for the sad smokers.  You won’t catch me buying them for my own use.

What the hell is going on?

I could use the home grown, but I’d be as high as a kite all the time.  Not funny either.

Am I to be reduced to smoking tea leaves again?

• Smoking
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Grandad January 3rd, 2009

A question that has always puzzled me.

Why do people insist on driving on the outside lane when the inner lane is clear for miles ahead?

Do these aresholes think that it makes them go faster?

I cannot think of any reason for it.

Idiotic fuckers…..

• On the road
• Comments(20)

Grandad January 2nd, 2009

I am utterly sick of television.

It’s too damned cold and dark to walk down to the pub, so I’m at home most evenings.

I can’t read a book, because that just sends me to sleep and if I go near the computer, Herself yells at me.  So I’m stuck with the television.

I’m not complaining about the programs.  We all know they are utter shite and there is just no point in complaining any more.

What’s driving me know are the advertisements.

Sales, sales, sales and more fucking sales.

Every slot that comes up is some fucker yelling at me that they have a sale on, as if they had just invented the concept.  And they are outbidding themselves in their reductions.

50% is considered mean now.  Some are offering 60%, and the brave ones are going for 70%.

If they can sell stuff at 70% off and still stay in business, then they must originally had one hell of a rip off markup?

The stuff they are selling is all useless too.

I am waiting for Guinness to advertise that they are cutting the price of a pint by 70%.  Where is the advertisement offering pipe tobacco at 70% reduction, with interest free credit and no need to pay a cent until 2050?  Oh no.  They want to sell us fucking furniture!

What is it about sitting room suits and beds?  Suddenly there are about fifty companies all frantic to sell us monstrous ten seater couches that would require a hangar to contain them.  There seems to be a craze for couches that won’t fit into any reasonable room.

Maybe that’s the plan?

Suckers see the advertisement, and rush out to buy one of these monstrosities.

They manage to get it home by hiring an articulated lorry.

They then discover that it won’t fit in their house, even if they remove all the internal walls.

They have to move to a bigger house.

See where I’m going?

Yes.

This is a conspiracy to revitalise the housing market.

Do they think I’m stupid?

• Television
• Comments(17)