Update my arse
Grandad February 12th, 2009
Another foul day.
I was having a grand sleep this morning, when they started digging up the fucking road beside my house again.
They have been working on that road since November, and there is damn all to show for it apart from temporary traffic lights and a lot of noise. My theory is that FAS are running a Recession Course where they take every single unemployed person in Ireland, and send them to my area to dig up my road. If you have a better theory, then that’s fine, but I’m sticking to mine.
That is not the best way to be woken at half seven in the morning, so I was not in the best of form when I fired up my laptop to see what is going on in the world. The fucking thing broke.
This is not my old laptop, that broke at Christmas, but the new on I got to replace it. It just stopped booting up. It would get as far as a screen saying ‘welcome’ and then wouldn’t go any further.
Welcome, my arse.
This puzzled me because the idea of two computers doing more or less the same thing in a couple of months seemed to be a bit of a coincidence.
Being the proud owner of an Honours Primary Certificate, I decided to apply my intelligence and education to the problem.
Was there anything in common with both crashes? Was I running the same programme at the time? Was I viewing the same porn web site at the time?
I have just remembered.
Each time, before the crash, my laptop had asked me to reboot because there were new updates.
So it is those wankers in Microsoft that are the cause of my problems?
The more I have to deal with that Microsoft lot the more I suffer.
That is why I have stripped as much of their shite off my PC as possible.
In fact I run with the absolute minimum of everything on it.
None of those ‘make your PC faster’ things that slow down the whole yoke.
None of that ‘put all your passwords in one programme’ rubbish.
And as for that ‘firewall’ and ‘anti-virus’ bollox…
Forget it.
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