Update my arse
Grandad February 12th, 2009
Another foul day.
I was having a grand sleep this morning, when they started digging up the fucking road beside my house again.
They have been working on that road since November, and there is damn all to show for it apart from temporary traffic lights and a lot of noise. My theory is that FAS are running a Recession Course where they take every single unemployed person in Ireland, and send them to my area to dig up my road. If you have a better theory, then that’s fine, but I’m sticking to mine.
That is not the best way to be woken at half seven in the morning, so I was not in the best of form when I fired up my laptop to see what is going on in the world. The fucking thing broke.
This is not my old laptop, that broke at Christmas, but the new on I got to replace it. It just stopped booting up. It would get as far as a screen saying ‘welcome’ and then wouldn’t go any further.
Welcome, my arse.
This puzzled me because the idea of two computers doing more or less the same thing in a couple of months seemed to be a bit of a coincidence.
Being the proud owner of an Honours Primary Certificate, I decided to apply my intelligence and education to the problem.
Was there anything in common with both crashes? Was I running the same programme at the time? Was I viewing the same porn web site at the time?
I have just remembered.
Each time, before the crash, my laptop had asked me to reboot because there were new updates.
So it is those wankers in Microsoft that are the cause of my problems?
The more I have to deal with that Microsoft lot the more I suffer.
That is why I have stripped as much of their shite off my PC as possible.
In fact I run with the absolute minimum of everything on it.
None of those ‘make your PC faster’ things that slow down the whole yoke.
None of that ‘put all your passwords in one programme’ rubbish.
And as for that ‘firewall’ and ‘anti-virus’ bollox…
Forget it.
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Did you get it up and running?
Oh well, at least in my youth it was deliquent kids that broke windows… now it seems Microsoft has taken over that role?
A small piece of advice: once you go Mac, you’ll never go back!
F
Get a Mac. Have had one for 4 years. Not that there are never any problems but nothing like I had with a Windows based system.
Robert – After some blood sweat and not a few tears, yes. I think it just needs a good whallop with a lump hammer.
Francis – Welcome! I expected a flood of Linux lunatics, but I had forgotten about the Mac Gang. Unfortunately I have too much invested in M$ software and knowledge to switch at my time of life.
Shane – Hah! Ditto.
Funny post Grandad. I’ve the same arse about Microsoft and I swear when I have to have this computer put to sleep at the vets I’m getting no more of Bill’s pups.
I’m going to get myself a small wire-haired Mac and train it to bite anyone that claims they’ve ever bought something with the dreaded phrase ‘Plug & Play’ on it and it actually plugged in and worked first time.
It will only be jealousy on my part but my well-trained Mac won’t know or care. It’s little head will recognise only ‘Bite & Biscuit’.
Lump hammer, yes. Although a straight punch to the centre of the screen produces a lovely daisy-shaped iridescent image, in my experience.
Or, start boycotting the updates.
Susan – I love those iridescent patterns, though I like to use strong magnets. The trouble with quitting the updates is that some other bastard will sneak in and screw up my laptop, simply because it hasn’t been updated. I can’t win. *sigh*
Oh quit your whining! If you had a bloddy Mac all you would get is a picture of an apple with a red circle and slash through it. Then you have to take to the apple store where you bought it so they can wipe all your info off it and reload the OS that really work right from the get go. OR you could go with Linux aka open sores or is it open source? I could never tell the difference.
Microsloth sucks… alot but they’re better than the others out there.
Damn too bad I can’t type today. see above
OK, this is what it was suppose to say… before I was so rudely interruped by the owner of the company. Geez! Doesn’t he realize I have important blogging to do during work hours.
Oh quit your whining! If you had a bloody Mac all you would get is a picture of an apple with a red circle and slash through it. Then you have to take to the apple store where you bought it so they can wipe all your info off it and reload the OS that really never worked right from the get go. OR you could go with Linux aka open sores or is it open source? I could never tell the difference.
Microsloth sucks… alot but they’re better than the others out there.
See that make more cents.
I must admit that after many years ignoring the anti microsoft propaganda I chose a Mac for my last purchase – a dream in comparison. Not one damn problem
What’s a firewall? The ol’ git that runs my site never tol’ me about them!
Oh and your fridge is lookin’ fine over at mine, GD x