Peaceful Spring chaos
Grandad February 16th, 2009
I was up at eight this morning and it was beautiful.
The sun was shining, there was a Willow Warbler singing just outside my window and it was a picture of peace and serenity.
Two hours later and it’s fucking mayhem.
The builders arrived early and started ripping the house apart, pulling down walls and things.
Two fellas arrived in a van and took all our furniture. I asked if they were debt collectors, but they said they weren’t. I don’t know who they were.
A skip is due to arrive any minute.
And a tooth fell out.
All the spare space in the house is now full of shit that had been upstairs, and I can’t move anywhere. Beds, boxes, curtains, carpets and stuff I haven’t seen in decades.
Herself ordered the builders. I’m not quite sure what they are doing but one of the bedrooms is suddenly full of dust, and there is a lot of banging and thumping going on. One of the builders muttered something about hoping the weather stays fine for when they rip the roof off. I’m not going to bother asking what’s going on, as she probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.
There is only one thing to do at a time like this….
I’m off to the pub.
As soon as I can find my tooth.
- Around the house
- Comments(16)
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Who knows– perhaps your leaving a while was Herself’s objective?
Sorry to hear about the tooth. By “fell out” you don’t mean “knocked out” do you? Whatever’s happening, enjoy the pub!
Is that the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Maybe I should go to the pub too. Need some inspiration obviously!
Obviously Herself is doing her bit for the constuction industry – and the dental profession it seems. Admirable!
Maybe it’s an addition where K8 and TAT and the kids will be moving to soon. Maybe it’s a new, large conference room where you’ll meet and greet with the likes of Harney, Bertie, Comrade the Messiah, BIFFO, Merkel and Sarkozy. Maybe it’s a big-ass new living room with a fireplace and central heating and cooling for, “The Other Fellow”. Maybe it’s a huge warehouse they are building to store the millions of copies of your book that will be sold over the next few months.
Susan – The tooth fell out of its own volition. It’s one of the penalties of old age. I’m happy that it was a tooth and not something more important.
NaRocRoc – There is nothing like a pint or nine for a drop of inspiration. That is one reason I keep an emergency bittle of whiskey by the computer.
Milton – You forgot the banks. God knows what this is going to cost me. I would have a better idea of the expense if I knew what the hell she was getting done?
Brianf – Your guess is as good as mine. It could be anything from a cinema to a pub. A pub? Now there’s an idea?
..and of course the banks. I’m printing my run of notes as we speak and seeing that we own the banks (almost) at this stage – I declare myself The Mint. I will take orders. Jeez the ink cartridge costs more than face value at the moment….
Grandad – What you want to bet that when all is said and done everything will be exactly the same as before they started?!?
NaRocRoc – Damn! I wish I’d said that.
So, a pint of five, based on your rules of ordering Guinness for tourists? (Hey, I remembered some article on the book!)
Maybe herself got fed up of your company and fancied some builders banging…..that sounds wrong
Is it to create space so that you can take part in the ‘House a Homeless Banker Scheme’?
Given the price of ink for printers, it might cost more to print notes then they are worth. I read somewhere that it was the most expensive liquid or solid on earth. Far more pricey then silver or gold.
My observations precisely Jim C. My answer to the bwanking crisis.
Kirk M, you can have it if you like!
I still haven’t a clue what is going on. There is a dirty great skip in the front garden, and I recognise a couple of walls in it, from the remains of the wallpaper on the bits. There is a huge hole now, where we used to have a couple of rooms. It is all very strange.
Herself still is saying nothing. She just sits there with her laptop, happily humming away to herself while she surfs furniture shops. Thank God I closed our joint account and moved the funds offshore.
Offshore…..mmmm…be afraid
Milton – Why? I’ll be moving it straight back again as soon as it’s converted to Krugerrands.